Often we, returning home in a bad mood in the evening, are not able to suppress negative emotions in ourselves, from which our loved ones and, most importantly, ourselves suffer as a result. Panic, aggression, irritability, all these unpleasant manifestations can and should be fought, because, first of all, our nervous system suffers from this state of affairs, which is extremely difficult to restore.

Emotions are okay

First of all, you should agree with your body: crying is normal, as well as getting angry, offended, tired of the company of loved ones. There is nothing wrong with the fact that you wanted to be completely alone, and most importantly, in silence. Stop blaming yourself for the need for personal time, which you can even spend lying in the dark with your eyes closed. Don't be afraid to be alone, don't be intimidated by your emotions. Organize your intimate time and space, which even family members cannot access - in silence, negative emotions will recede by themselves.

No idleness

If the weather or other circumstances force you to spend several days within four walls, in no case leave yourself idle. If the first unplanned day off will allow you to gain strength, then on the second, and even more so on the third day, there is a risk of irritability returning due to absolute idleness. In fact, laziness says in you, there is always something to do at home: read books, organize wet cleaning, sort things in the closet - getting rid of old and unnecessary things will never hurt either, and will also add a feeling of lightness, both physical and moral. If an activity supports you and makes you feel more comfortable, do it without hesitation.

Chill out

The most famous advice, which you probably heard more than once, in moments of anger, count to ten and exhale. In fact, upon closer inspection, and most importantly when trying to use this method, it becomes absolutely clear that counting to ten only fuels your annoyance. But there are more active ways to throw out your negativity: stomp your feet, slam doors, bang your fists on the wall, you can just shout, with a shout, as a rule, most of the negativity comes out. If you are sad and sad - allow yourself to cry. If you are caught off guard by a panic attack, instead of aggravating your fear, trying by all means to control and keep it in yourself, shake your whole body, tremble, crawl out of fear on the closet or under the table - anything, just do not hold the negative emotion in yourself. And, of course, it is preferable to be alone with yourself. It is not necessary for your loved ones to see you in this state.

Plan

Planning is a rather monotonous job that can take a lot of time, but at the same time calm and avoid emotional outbursts in the future. Just think, you have an important event ahead of you - defending a project or an interview, it makes you dreary despair. Think carefully about what escape routes are possible in case of failure, how much your life will change if something does not turn out the way you would like, and you will see that even with the most negative outcome, the apocalypse will not happen. Planning a retreat is another path to victory - do not be afraid to create a plan "B", because in the end, if you fail, you will be ready for it, otherwise, you will be doubly happy about a positive solution to the problem.

Take it as it is

Buddhist proverb says: if everything ends badly, then my experiences will not help, and if it is good, then it was not worth worrying. Try to look at the problem from a distance, because little will change from your excitement, you only risk wasting emotions uselessly, and as a result, you will receive an invariable ending. It is difficult to discipline your child if you yourself are boiling like a kettle. Better try to accept his behavior as it is and give time for yourself and him to cool down. Orient your thinking towards acceptance rather than unreasonable expectations.

There are many theories that explain the nature of emotions. Most of them associate emotional anxiety with the satisfaction or dissatisfaction of a person's inner needs. Emotions are a reflection of a person's attitude to the phenomena of the surrounding world. The reactions of different people to the same event can be completely opposite. Therefore, the reason for the appearance of any emotion must be sought not in the object or situation that called it out, but in oneself: in one's own thoughts, illusions, expectations. Understanding how to deal with emotions and keeping them under control means understanding how they arise and replacing them with more productive ones. This requires a long-term work on oneself, but the result is worth the effort - it is emotional health and harmony in the soul.

Why is it important to control emotions

From an emotion management perspective, it doesn't really matter if we experience positive or negative emotions. Emotion is an instantaneous reaction of a person to a stimulus; it can be compared to a flash. Positive emotion means that the circumstance or object that caused it meets our ideas about reality and expectations, negative means the opposite. But this is not at all an indicator that the subject that caused the reaction is actually good or bad. Therefore, emotions often “knock the aim” - distort reality and influence decision-making and often lead to mistakes.

There are expressions that clearly illustrate the consequences of such manifestations: "to be in a fog", "to blurt out in the heat of the moment", "to flog a fever", "to do something without thinking", that is, to act thoughtlessly, not of their own free will. The result is ruined relationships, wrong choices, and excruciating regrets.

If a person has no control over his emotions, it is very easy for him to be manipulated. Manipulators know perfectly well that by causing a person to emotion, they "turn off" his ability to think sensibly and thereby push him to actions that are beneficial to them. A great example of mass manipulation is advertising that elicits an emotional response and thus drives our decisions.

Failures in the emotional sphere threaten with more serious consequences. A person can “get stuck” for a long time, if not forever, in any emotional state, more often in a negative one. This is fraught with manifestations of irritability, anxiety, fear, which can develop into obsessive states, which are extremely difficult to get rid of without the help of a specialist psychologist.

Negative states negatively affect all areas of a person's life. They lead to poor health, relationships with others, decreased activity, weight gain, depression and give rise to the development of addictions: alcoholism, drug addiction, workaholism, passion for gambling.

On the contrary, by understanding how to cope with emotions, you can gain clarity of thinking and restore the lost calm, and with them - self-confidence and a positive attitude.

How to learn to deal with your emotions

Balanced people with a healthy psyche are practically not subject to mood swings, and they do not need to make titanic efforts to take their emotions under control. They don't even think about it. To prevent emotions from tearing you to pieces at every opportunity, it is enough to turn off the mechanisms that cause it. To do this, you will have to work on your mental health, and this is a long and difficult life-long process, because there is no limit to perfection.

How to deal with yourself

The first thing to do is to really get to know yourself, with your inner “I”.

Look at yourself from the outside. What are your virtues? And the disadvantages? What would you like to get rid of? Write down all your qualities, set goals for yourself, and outline the steps you are willing to take to achieve them. Set a realistic time frame. Take action!

Understand your feelings. Learn to track and correctly identify your emotions. How are you feeling at the moment? What is the name of this emotion - resentment or anger, sadness or sadness, joy or fun? What's the difference between these concepts? Watch yourself often and look for answers to these questions. You will discover how much emotion you are repressing and how little you know about your real state.

Go ahead and learn to get to the root cause that caused the unpleasant experience. Very often we hide an unresolved problem behind an emotion. If you fell on someone from the household for a trifle, it is likely that this episode is not the point. Your anger could be caused by a deeper reason - in this way, feelings of guilt for an unfulfilled assignment or an old resentment can be felt.

Learning to express emotions correctly

It is not necessary to understand the need to control emotions as a call for insensitivity and suppression of emotions. On the contrary, it is very important to show them, but do it right.

In society, there is an unspoken prohibition on the expression of anger, anger, irritation. We are taught from childhood that it is bad to experience these feelings. And they do not disappear anywhere and accumulate in the soul for years, causing illness and psychological problems. However, there are completely harmless ways of expressing aggressive emotions that can be used without harming others.

If you have been offended, you can simply say so without stopping to insult and retaliate. It’s hard to believe, but simple phrases “I am offended”, “I am angry” work. By acting in this way, you constructively express the negative feeling by “returning” it to the abuser.

Physical aggression can be thrown out in the gym, shouted in the woods, ripped up paper, or you can transform destructive energy into creative energy - chop wood, chop a salad, wipe away a stubborn stain.

It is equally important to express sadness, sorrow. The best way is to let your tears go. Often people forbid themselves to show grief - it is important for them to be strong and calm. Uncried tears are unsettled grief and illness. If tears do not come, you need to hide away from human eyes and moan, sob, as babies do. Tears will not keep you waiting, and with them will come relief.

Not everyone knows how to express love, affection and sometimes even joy for fear of being rejected or offended in their best feelings. You can cope with fear with the help of a psychologist, and at the same time learn to find reasons for positive emotions in the most ordinary things - the sun, flowers, favorite music, and express them with a smile, laughter, touch.

Several ways to deal with bad thoughts and feelings

Negative emotions are fueled by obsessive thoughts that revolve in the head against the will of the person. Such thoughts program for failure and attract trouble. If you are tormented by a cycle of bad thoughts and forebodings, you need to get rid of it urgently.

1. Meditation. An incredibly effective way to relieve tension and free your mind. Despite their apparent simplicity, meditation techniques require understanding, skill, and regular application. The game is worth the candle - for people who have learned to meditate, this special state of peace and unity with the Universe becomes a cure for stress and physical ailments.
2. Refusal to fight. Entering into an open fight with obsessive thoughts, trying to forcibly expel them from your head, you only tighten the noose tighter. Calm down and stop reacting to bad thoughts, let them be, and you will see how quickly they dissolve if you reduce their importance.
3. Visualization. If you do not let go of resentment or guilt for a committed act, draw in your imagination several scenarios for the development of events, up to completely fantastic ones. Thus, you will crash the program and free yourself from unnecessary worries.
4. Let the thought go free. Write, speak aloud, share with loved ones. In this way, you will release negative energy.

How to deal with negative feelings in the here and now

How to cope with your nerves and not break the woods if the situation took you by surprise, and you feel that emotions are about to overwhelm you?

The mere fact that you have caught this moment is already a victory.

Here are some practical tips to help you pull yourself together:

• exhale, imagining how the emotion comes out of you along with the air;
• count slowly to ten (or to a hundred, to a thousand, until you feel that the intensity of the experience has decreased, and you are in control of yourself);
• visualize the emotion and mentally ask it to leave;
• concentrate on your breathing and turn off your mind for a few moments.

If you have come to your senses, calmed down and are ready to express emotion constructively (and if it is appropriate in this situation), do it. Otherwise, be sure to work out the emotion afterwards in a calm environment.

Uncontrolled and unexpressed emotions are what worsen the state of mind and keep you in eternal stress. There is no need to be afraid to feel and worry, because emotions are a part of ourselves, a product of our consciousness, and any person is able to learn how to manage them. The health of the psyche, like the health of the body, requires attention and constant care, therefore, diseases of the soul do not need to be triggered. Love yourself and take care of yourself, because we all came to this world to be happy!

endure or fight?

Discomfort, troubles, anxiety, pain, suffering ... "Negative emotions" is a rather vague definition that summarizes the emotions of this series.

Even people who consider themselves happy experience emotions from the "negative spectrum" of human experience. And although negative emotions are understood as a variety of emotions, their common property is that we feel something unpleasant, undesirable, “bad”. The strength of these experiences can grow from subtle discomfort to a state of intolerance.

During life, each person (consciously or unconsciously) develops his own strategy for dealing with them, giving his answer to the question:

How to deal with negative emotions?

Avoid.

Some people feel that any experience is given to them very hard, severely hurt, or even just "unsettled" for a long time. At the same time, they feel that there are not enough resources to change the situation or cope with their emotions. Often such people choose the avoidance path. Avoidance is an attempt to face as little as possible with events, people, and even with their own manifestations that can upset the inner balance. A person leaves the activity associated with negative emotions, makes a stop in something.

When Masha was 8 years old, in a lesson in class, she raised her hand and went out to answer to the blackboard. She knew the material well, but was excited by the opportunity to prove herself and, under the influence of strong emotions, mixed something up. Classmates laughed, and the teacher gave a three for the wrong answer. Masha was ashamed of herself and offended for the top three. At home, she received a comment from her mother: "Why did you volunteer to the board if you were not sure of yourself?"
Now Maria is 32 years old, she works as a junior manager in a small company. She could have become a leader for a long time, because she is well versed not only in her work, but also in the work of the entire department. But no one knows about this. The fear of proving herself (and the expectation of possible shame) cancels out the possibility of her professional growth. *

Anton is 42 years old. He is an inveterate bachelor. Women happen in his life - for a day, two, a week ... The longest romance in his life lasted 8 months and ended 23 years ago. Then the girl with whom he truly fell in love went to his friend. He suffered a lot, wanted to kill him, her, and then myself. These feelings were even more intense than those he experienced at the age of five, when his parents divorced and his mother married his stepfather. It took Anton 2 years to recover from an unsuccessful romance. The wound from the loss, from the experience of betrayal, healed, but the scar remained. Now, as soon as there is a "threat" of rapprochement with someone, the opportunity to become attached, Anton mercilessly breaks up the relationship. He is ready to sacrifice love, warmth, the opportunity to raise children, just not to face the terrible pain of betrayal and parting again. *

Use people around you.

Another opportunity is to use the people around you to transfer to them what is unpleasant and difficult to experience inside. Unconsciously trying to avoid contact with negative emotions within oneself, and unable to process them into something useful, a person feels anxiety, irritation or anger. On a conscious level, he connects these feelings with what is happening around - with the behavior of loved ones, life circumstances, political system, etc. As a result, he does not really try to understand the reasons causing these emotions, and denies his contribution to what is happening: the defensive reaction is triggered instantly and unconsciously. The emotions themselves are felt as a tangled, unpleasant, burning ball of hands, which you need to get rid of by throwing it to another. In most cases, after this, the internal balance is more or less restored. But loved ones suffer from the emotions splashing out on them. And then either loved ones become unhappy, or they try to communicate less. And negative emotions are still strong.

Ivan Andreevich - head of the department of a trading company. He studied a lot, he is very demanding of himself, he is a really good specialist. But his department has a serious problem: staff turnover, due to which the efficiency of the department as a whole is greatly reduced. Only one employee lasted more than two years there. The rest either move to other departments or quit altogether. The reason is this: Ivan Andreevich is considered a tyrant, hated and feared. This surprises him and offends him a little, because he just wants everything to work "normally". Just like his father, who always scolded him (and even flogged him) for any offense (and anything could be considered offense), Ivan Andreevich considers himself fair. After all, his anger is always directed at some kind of imperfection of the employee. But he does not realize that the true reasons for his emotions are often not the actions of employees, but his own poor health, a deteriorating relationship with his wife, unconscious dissatisfaction with himself, fear of failure and loss of the trust of the company management. By "educating" employees, he does not solve real problems, and people from the department keep leaving and leaving ... *

Tatiana got married at the age of 18. She so wanted to feel freedom that she accepted the offer from the first who made it, without thinking about her feelings. It was not easy for her as a child - she lived alone with her mother - a lonely and very anxious woman who made her daughter her only friend, her mother, her psychotherapist. Unconsciously, she used her daughter so as not to feel loneliness, anxiety, fear for the future.
Tanya lived with her husband for only 2 years. He was unable to compete for Tanino's attention with his mother-in-law, who called many times a day, with whom he had to spend all weekends and holidays. Finally, my mother began to feel bad and Tanya, unable to cope with the feeling of guilt before the "abandoned" mother, moved back to her ... The return of her daughter cured her mother and together they lived for another 20 years until my mother died. All this time Tatiana was angry with her. But anxiety for her mother's health and the feeling of her guilt and betrayal did not allow Tatyana to think about starting her own life. *

Suffer and endure.

Sometimes a person realizes that he is sacrificing his own interests, and may even stop living his own life in order to save someone else. In some cases, you really have to sacrifice some of your interests (for example, when a loved one is seriously ill). But quite often sacrificing oneself and one's interests to someone is not so much a tribute to a harsh necessity as a passive way to cope with various negative emotions - anger, resentment, guilt.

In some cases, suffering serves the role of self-punishment. This is how a suffering person unconsciously copes with feelings of guilt, which sharply manifests itself whenever he tries to think about his interests.

And sometimes suffering and self-reproach are the secret pride of a person. and fuel his self-esteem. From the outside, such a person may look like a saint. Although his loved ones are not easy: they are forced to constantly feel guilty for wanting to realize their desires and follow their interests, while their loved one refuses everything in their favor.

Let's go back to Tatiana from the previous example. Her mom unconsciously used her to deal with her anxiety and loneliness. When there was a threat that Tanya would break this symbiosis, my mother started to get sick. And then Tatiana experienced strong fear (to lose her mother, as well as to become the cause of her death) and guilt (for leaving her mother and for the desire to have her own life, as well as for the accumulated unexpressed anger towards her mother). Fear and guilt led Tatiana to the outcome described above: she spent her entire life caring for her mother, supporting her, and giving up opportunities to build close relationships with other people. *

Elena Sergeevna is the mother and grandmother of a large family. She dedicated her life to family and children. Raising her sons, she almost refused to communicate with her friends and had no hobbies. Elena Sergeevna never demanded anything for herself. Having given herself to her children, now she does not understand: why do her children feel unhappy? *

Use negative emotions to improve your life.

Emotions in human life exist for a reason. Positive emotions let us know that something beneficial to us is happening. Negative emotions are a signal that something is going wrong. It is important not only to get rid of them, but to understand this signal and respond to it.

When something turns out to be emotionally unbearable for a person, it can seem as if a disconnection of emotions occurs: a person no longer suffers, but he also does not really enjoy, and over time there is a feeling that life is meaningless, or a feeling of death, living life in the absence of life itself.

Few people want to experience physical pain. However, when a person actually loses the ability to feel pain for some reason, he is in mortal danger. He will no longer withdraw his hand when it comes into contact with a red-hot object ... He no longer feels that a serious inflammation begins ... Having broken his leg, he will continue to walk, crushing the bones inside ... In a word, he cannot be without pain during react to danger to life ...

But then what to do with negative emotions? By avoiding them, we hide from the world and do not realize our possibilities. By using others to cope with them, we make the loved ones suffer, and the rest simply leave us. In suffering and enduring, we sacrifice our lives.

An alternative to these not pretty options is inner work with your emotions... A person can do it on their own or with the help of a psychologist. Of course, each case is individual, but in general, this work goes through several general stages:

1. Awareness of which emotions are unpleasant or painful.

2. Understanding what exactly causes them.

3. Determining which of the events is possible to change.

4. Deciding what exactly you want to achieve and in what way.

5. Start of change.

This kind of inner work not only allows you to deal with negative emotions. She changes life for the better, and gives reason to be proud of her inner growth.

* Typical life situations are given in the article as examples.

Psychologist-psychoanalyst
ECPP training analyst and supervisor

You can not restrain your emotions, get angry, shout, laugh, cry bitterly and loudly resent. Do you think anyone likes this sincerity? Only your enemies are pleased to watch this performance. Learning to manage emotions!

Sometimes, succumbing to emotions or allowing ourselves to be led by false feelings, we commit acts of which we subsequently repent. At the same time, we make excuses that we have lost control over ourselves, so emotions prevailed over reason. That is, it was not we who controlled our emotions, but they controlled us.

Is it really that bad? Perhaps there is nothing good in the absence of self-control. People who do not know how to control themselves, maintain composure and subjugate feelings to their will, as a rule, do not achieve success either in their personal lives or in the professional sphere.

They do not think about the future, and their expenses often far exceed their income.

Intemperate people flare up like a match, in any quarrel, not being able to stop in time and compromise, which deserves the reputation of a conflicted person. At the same time, they also destroy their health: doctors say that many diseases have a direct connection with such negative emotions as anger, etc. They are preferred to avoid by people for whom their own peace and nerves are dear.

People who are not used to limiting themselves spend too much free time in empty entertainment and useless conversations. If they make promises, they themselves are not sure whether they can keep them. It is not surprising that in whatever field they work, they are rarely professionals in their field. And the reason for this is the lack of self-control.

A developed sense of self-control allows you to keep a cool head, sober thoughts and an understanding that feelings can turn out to be false and lead to a dead end in any situation.

There are also situations when we need to hide our emotions in our own interests. “Sometimes I am a fox, sometimes I am a lion,” said the French commander. "The secret ... is to understand when to be one, when to be different!"

Self-controlled people deserve respect and authority. On the other hand, many people think they are callous, heartless, "insensitive blockheads" and ... incomprehensible. It is much clearer to us those who from time to time "indulge in all serious", "break down", lose control over themselves and commit unpredictable actions! Looking at them, and we do not seem so weak to ourselves. Moreover, it is not so easy to become restrained and strong-willed. So we ourselves and reassure ourselves that the life of people who are guided by reason, and not by feelings, is joyless, and therefore unhappy.

The fact that this is not the case is evidenced by an experiment conducted by psychologists, as a result of which they came to the conclusion: people who can overcome themselves and resist the temptation of the moment are more successful and happy than those who are unable to cope with emotions.

The experiment is named after Michel Walter, a psychologist at Stanford University. It is also known as the "marshmallow test" because one of its main "characters" is an ordinary marshmallow.

The experiment, conducted in the 60s of the last century, involved 653 4-year-old children. They were taken one by one into a room where one marshmallow lay in a plate on the table. Each child was told that he could eat it right now, but if he waited 15 minutes, he would get another one, and then he could eat both. Michelle Walter left the child alone for a few minutes and then returned. 70% of children ate one marshmallow before he returned, and only 30 waited for it and received a second. Curiously, the same percentage was observed during a similar experiment in two more countries where it was carried out.

Michelle Walter followed the fate of his charges and after 15 years came to the conclusion that those who at one time did not succumb to the temptation to get “everything and now”, but were able to control themselves, turned out to be more educated and successful in their chosen areas of knowledge and interests. Thus, it was concluded that the ability to self-control significantly improves the quality of human life.

Yitzhak Pintosevich, who is called the “coach of success”, claims that those who have no control over themselves and their actions should forget about efficiency forever.

How to learn to manage yourself

1. Let's remember about the "marshmallow dough"

30% of 4-year-olds already knew how. This character trait came to them "by nature" or their parents brought up this skill in them.

Someone said: “Do not bring up your children, they will still be like you. Educate yourself. " Indeed, we want to see our children restrained, and we ourselves arrange hysterics in front of their eyes. We tell them that they must cultivate willpower in themselves, and we ourselves show weakness. We remind you that they must be punctual and we are late for work every morning.

Therefore, we begin to learn to control ourselves by carefully analyzing our behavior and identifying "weak points" - where exactly we allow ourselves to "dissolve."

2. Components of control

The aforementioned Yitzhak Pintosevich believes that in order for control to be effective, it must include 3 components:

1. Be honest with yourself and have no illusions about yourself;
2. You should control yourself systematically, and not from case to case;
3. Control should be not only internal (when we control ourselves), but also external. For example, we promised to solve the problem at such and such a time. And, in order not to leave ourselves a loophole for retreat, we announce this among our colleagues. If we do not meet the announced time, we pay them a fine. The danger of losing a decent amount will serve as a good incentive not to be distracted by extraneous matters.

3. We write down the main goals facing us on a sheet, and put (or hang) it in a prominent place

Every day we control how much we have managed to progress towards their implementation.

4. Putting things in order in our financial affairs

We keep credits under control, remember if we have debts that urgently need to be repaid, we reduce debit to credit. Our emotional state is quite dependent on the state of our finances. Therefore, the less confusion and problems in this area, the less we will have reasons to “lose our temper”.

5. We observe our reactions to events that cause strong emotions in us, and analyze whether they are worth our experiences

We imagine the worst option and understand that it is not as terrible as the consequences of our inappropriate and thoughtless behavior.

6. Doing the opposite

We are angry with a colleague, and we are tempted to say "a couple of warm words" to him. Instead, we smile and compliment. If we feel offended that another employee was sent to the conference instead of us, do not get angry, but rejoice for him and wish him a happy journey.

From the very morning we were overwhelmed by laziness, and - we turn on the music, and we take up some business. In short, we act contrary to what the emotion tells us.

7. A well-known phrase says: we cannot change circumstances, but we can change our attitude towards them

We are surrounded by different people, and not all of them are friendly and fair to us. We cannot get upset and indignant every time we meet with someone else's envy, anger, rudeness. It is necessary to come to terms with what we cannot influence.

8. The best assistant in mastering the science of self-control is meditation

Just as physical exercise develops the body, so meditation trains the mind. Through daily meditation sessions, you can learn to avoid negative emotions, not to succumb to passions that interfere with a sober view of circumstances and can ruin your life. With the help of meditation, a person plunges into a state of calmness and attains harmony with himself.

Good time.
How to deal with negative emotions.

In our life, sometimes everything is very difficult. There are times when you are filled with resentment, fear, pain, irritation or some other unpleasant feeling.

Also, very often, during the passage of any transformational programs and trainings, negative feelings and emotions become so strong that it seems that it is no longer possible to carry them in oneself.

The main thing at this moment do not follow their lead, do not allow this state to become the main one and control your life. But at the same time, do not give up on them, give them a place. After all, this is a part of you.

What to do?

Let yourself live this state help your psyche to process these negative feelings and emotions and transform them into something else.

Take any drawing material: pencils, paints, crayons, etc., and a few sheets of paper. And start painting. What exactly to draw? What your hand wants.

For example, you have a difficult, sad inner state. This is a very difficult feeling, it is difficult to live with it, to work, to move towards something. I want to curl up and cry under the covers.

Do not rush to take a pillow and a blanket in your arms. Take pencils and sheets of paper!

What color would reflect your condition? Black, brown, marsh green? Select. And just start moving your hand across the paper, as if in a semi-automatic mode. Don't think about WHAT you are drawing. It's just movement, just color.
When you start drawing, you will feel how the feelings inside you begin to "move", transform. Follow this dynamic: it might be time to change the color or start drawing circles instead of lines.

Relief does not necessarily come immediately.

It often happens that the condition worsens at first. This is because, perhaps, the negative state that you experienced is something like a "lid". It was enough for you that you felt bad, therefore, until the end, you did not allow yourself to live these negative emotions, and therefore did not come into contact with a deeper layer of feelings.

Don't be alarmed. If it even got worse emotionally, then take a different color and paint.

After some time, you will notice that the colors are chosen lighter and warmer, the lines are calmer, and maybe you will even notice that you are already drawing some kind of plot, and not just color spots.
And what do you feel inside? Is life getting better already?

How it works?

The main secret of this technique is that when you paint, you are all the time in contact with your feelings, but not completely immersed in them... On the one hand, you live them, but, on the other, they do not take you so much as to lose control.

When a feeling is recognized and experienced, it transforms, changes.
While drawing, you kind of transfer it to a sheet of paper, i.e. "Unload" this feeling from yourself into the material world. Therefore, the transformation is faster.

There are a few rules:

- colors, lines, images are chosen intuitively (it's not difficult, just try it)
- draw on one sheet as much as it is drawn. When you feel that "everything is here" - change the sheet. Maybe the paper will be completely painted over, or maybe there will only be a couple of strokes in the center, but if you feel that you need a blank sheet, then take it.
- use as many sheets of paper as you need, do not save. Sometimes it takes 20, 30 sheets for the state to begin to transform.
- these drawings NOT stored, are not considered, etc. Drawn and IMMEDIATELY tore and threw away.

What this technique will give you

You do not get stuck in difficult conditions, but transform them and recover
- You do not delve into their living, do not bring them to a peak state
- You do not force them out somewhere “deeper” and “farther away”, which leads to psychosomatics and a large number of problems in the future
- when you paint and experience these feelings, you stop being afraid of them. Fear of feeling negative is a very common symptom. Because of this fear, feelings are often abandoned altogether. By practicing this method, you create an attitude “I can handle any feeling” in yourself, which makes you calmer and more confident in yourself.

This is not a difficult practice to talk about how to cope with negative conditions... You can read it and put it in your knowledge box. Or you can pick up pencils and a pack of paper.

Your inner state is only in your hands.

Just do it. Just change it. It's actually simple.

With love and gratitude
Irina Yur