How to get rid of unfinished gestalt in divorce. Close gestalt - what is it? Meaning and features. How to prevent unfinished gestalts

Unfinished gestalt- these are events, people, and relationships that, having remained in the past, constantly arise in our thoughts. This “eternal return” can become an intrusive constant background and bring many problems. In especially severe cases, the resulting feeling of discomfort develops into a neurosis. If some life period has the largest number of unclosed gestalts, then a person can get stuck in the psychological age of this period.

The most troublesome situations for us are the situations associated with the breakdown of relations, so we will consider strategies for closing unfinished gestalts using various examples.

What keeps a person's thoughts in a situation that has already passed? When a breakdown occurs, our consciousness tries to somehow compensate for the resulting emptiness due to negative emotions. The desire to negate the value of the lost connection often transforms into resentment.

The grievances that gave rise to hatred are mentally tied to the offender. For example, harshly abandoned girls can write to you in 15 years and express ancient, mossy grievances.

Usually, at a primitive level, a person wants either to take revenge, that is, to "punish" the offender, or to get some satisfaction from him. For example, sincere repentance, fumbling at the feet of the offended, that is, so that the offender felt the same as the offended one, or realized that he was abruptly wrong.

Ideal when returning a girl, one often sees a picture of her deflection through pleas to return, coupled with many hours of waiting at the entrance, which not weakly amuses the ChSV of the guy she abandoned. Thus, the gestalt often closes, even without accepting it back.

Revenge. To put it more simply, this is a kind of comparison of accounts. Reciprocal insult or destruction of the offender, for the moral damage caused.

Often there is a desire to return, sleep and quit. These guys bring back girls, use them for a while, and then drain them. The clamp is removed, the gestalt is closed.

This is the way of vegetables that have no inner culture.

Desire to prove and proof that the thrown is better than Vasya. This option is also common.

That is, abandoned, motivated by a strong egg clamp, goes to the gym, begins to work hard at work, or improves his business, rides abroad, sleeps with those women who were previously inaccessible to him, then he meets his ex in some club, feeds her noodles, sees that she also uses the cosmetics that he gave, and wears the same jewelry that he gave, that is, new guys don't give her such garbage as he gave her, and in general she looks bad, pitiful and sloppy, and he malades. As a result, the guy proved himself and her, including the fact that he is malades, and lets him go.

As for me, this is a somewhat blunt way, but much more environmentally friendly than revenge.

Comparison. Quite an eco-friendly way. But also from the "external" school.

After parting, a man begins to work on himself, confidently moving towards his goals (social status, shakes his BB, get off proof and seduction skills), thereby increasing his value in the eyes of other people. As you grow, the level of the “chosen ones of the heart” rises, the attractiveness of which overshadows the merits of the previous ones, and so on. Each new girl looks more beautiful than the former and all thoughts about the correctness / incorrectness of parting with the past disappear by themselves. He looks at the current one, how cool and cute she is, remembers / meets the ex, sees / understands that the ex is worse, cheaper, easier, and forgets her. Gestalt is closed.

Often, the new cool current, after a while, merges it in the same way as the former, since the MCH did not make global conclusions, but simply put on a brighter wrapper on himself, like a piece of shit.

But this is only later. It is important that the old gestalt is closed.

Or, for example, years later, being a married patriarch with a bunch of cool kids and a clever wife, he learns that the former unsuccessfully married 15 times, and now she is an old hysterical no one needs, and has not achieved anything in this life at all, and fate took him away from such a fool and bitch, and quiet joy fills his heart.

Gestalt is closed.

=================

All of the above strategies apply to the "external" school. All of them are united by the desire to solve internal problems through external changes, which have very little effect on the psychological aspects of the problem. And now we will move on to strategies focused on closing gestalts through working with consciousness.

« The logical way. " Refers to the "inner school" . The guy turns on the brain, understands why he is jammed, unwinds his complexes, realizes the causes of mistakes, overestimates the former, changes the filter for choosing the future LTR, calmly removes the anchors, takes responsibility for what happened, and then does something useful, or what he likes. Gestalt is closed.

It sounds fantastic, since this path is inaccessible to most due to weakness of reason or strong emotional attachment to the departed girl.

"Forgiveness". Another strategy of the inner school is forgiveness. It is rightfully considered one of the most difficult in terms of the strength of internal tension and the volume of work. Forgiveness requires full acceptance of your ex and yourself as they are. This is a purely internal work, so a man does not need meetings with a girl and pleading for forgiveness. Forgiveness pulls off the hooks of resentment, and the guy is free. Gestalt is closed.

"Departure into the sunset"- this strategy is one of the extremely effective, and at the same time the most pretentious. For its implementation, it is necessary to have at least some significance for the girl.

Having lost all hope of maintaining a relationship (or achieving a girl), the guy beautifully leaves her life forever. Without revenge, scenes, requests to stay, monitoring of her pages on the Internet, etc. Having wished his former lover good luck, he continues to live his life, not too clearly indulging his pride.

After a year or a year and a half, he calls her for some idiotic reason, hears joy in his voice, she says that she will be glad to see him. He smiles tenderly into her receiver ... And he never calls again. Realizing that he is a Marlboro cowboy. In some cases, this causes the return / conquest of the girl, who herself begins to look for a meeting with him. In any case, the gestalt is closed, again due to the fact that he is a Marlboro cowboy.

A beautiful path for strong-willed guys.

"Filtration"- perhaps the best option in terms of ecology and self-esteem. The essence of the strategy is as follows: a man sets clear parameters for his future passion and rejects the candidacy if he does not match. For example, if a young lady has become someone else's wife, then the option is removed from consideration in any case. A great way for people with a well-built spiritual core and moral principles.

We will not consider extreme ways of closing gestalts (for example, going to nirvana), this is the road of units.

===================

• Staging;
• Completion with fantasy;
• Liberation through storytelling;
• Full acceptance and resignation to the situation.

The essence of the staging strategy is to act out scenes with possible dialogues between a man and a girl, in which the figurehead asks for forgiveness and accepts the apology, allowing the guy to free himself from the anchors. Not a bad way to frame and voice everything behind the scenes. To achieve a positive effect, a man must be serious about what is happening.

Completion with fantasy is more like a thought experiment. The main task of a man is to beat all possible situations and options for the further development of events in the event of maintaining a relationship. While focusing attention on everyday life and other delights of married life. Of course, a simple framework of events from several sentences is clearly not enough here. Descriptions should be bright, colorful, with a whole bunch of details. Thus, it will be possible to simulate reality and feel liberated by concentrating on the cons of this situation.

The essence of the strategy of liberation through telling other people exciting events is based on a person's desire to hide all the most valuable and important from prying eyes. By exposing his feelings, fears and desires to the public, a man actually destroys their value. Repeated repetition brings an additional effect. After 5-6 times, the "tragic" events of their own life will be perceived in the same way as the boring TV series.

Full acceptance of the situation borders on a loss of interest in gestalt. To implement this strategy, it is necessary to carry out a long work on your worldview, focusing on the insignificance of everything that happens with what has happened, is and will be in the world. Well, he broke up with his girlfriend, and what?

Anna Pilipenko, a teacher at the Institute for Personality and Business Development, also suggests using a game to close the gestalt. The content and rules of the game may be different, but the task of the strategy is unchanged - to make the object of the game, what was previously considered important. For example, a man and his ex-girlfriend appear in a board game as chips, and the plot itself will partially overlap with some significant events in the couple's life. Relaxing playing with what hurts brings liberation.

The blogger evo_lutio recommends to be proactive and rebuild gestalts in such a way that their centers are in your zone of influence. For example, seeing a pretty woman, a man sets himself the goal of starting a conversation, and not achieving her at any cost. After all, a beautiful stranger can be married or a lesbian. In this case, all attempts will be in vain. A person must formulate his desires in such a way that the responsibility for their realization is within his capabilities. Setting the right goals frees us from the emergence of open gestalts.

Strong attachments begin to live in the mind of a person with their own life, therefore, the elimination of an especially strong larva (addiction) requires tremendous efforts. To win, it is necessary to cut off all the pathological traction food channels (visual images, songs, melodies, smells, memorabilia). It can take a long time to weaken the larva, but, in the end, a person has freedom and he can rebuild the gestalt until it is closed. For example, having felt a strong attraction to another woman, a man, instead of "I want to achieve her," limits his task to "I want to propose to her." In this case, regardless of the woman's answer, the man always closes the gestalt and insures himself against the appearance of the larva.

There are many ways to close the gestalt, often not pure types are used, but combined options. Let's say “proof” and “filter”, or “forgiveness” with “staging”. Ingenuity and purposefulness brings the long-awaited liberation closer.

After the logical elaboration of the unclosed gestalt, it loses its power for consciousness, but at the subconscious level (or at the level of habit), the person still has a craving to return to the past.

After that, a good move would be to include the principle of fixation on the "here and now", formulated by the founder of Gestalt therapy, Fritz Perls. (he suggested focusing on thoroughly chewing food and enjoying the taste).

A more expanded set of methods for fixing consciousness on the "here and now" can be read in.

How to get over a breakup -

P.S.! All resources of the site, including text, graphic and video information, structure and design of pages, are protected by Russian and international laws and agreements on the protection of copyright and intellectual property (Articles 1259 and 1260 Chapter 70 "Copyright" of the Civil Code of the Russian Federation). The use of any site materials, including articles, photographs and images, is permitted only with the consent of the owner of the site resource.

After parting with a young man, one woman, having read a large number of articles on the Internet and diagnosed herself as gestalt, decided that only a psychologist could help her close it. Her only question was: how to close Generalstalt in a relationship? And the psychologist, in turn, advised the woman to get angry: “Well, imagine - the man got you, took advantage of your trust and your feelings, and then just left. You need to be angry with him, because this is the unfinished gestalt. "

The doctor in this case was guided by the theory according to which there are three stages of loss - denial-anger-sadness. But only the same scheme does not work for all people.

Some people are ready to instantly express their negative emotions, while others endure and listen for a long time, and then abruptly bring down everything they have accumulated. Let's try to figure it out.

How to recognize a gestalt?

The main symptom that will make it possible to make this diagnosis is unabated hopes. For example, you were in a relationship with a man and planned to become his wife. He left you and married another, there is still hope in your head.

Gestalt is something incomplete, and incompleteness is when we cannot define a person in this or that category of relationships - a friend, a lover, a stranger.

For example, you do not see this man as your husband, but you understand that joint projects and interests are possible here. Then understand for yourself - this is my business partner. And then everything will fall into place.

Consequences

Incomplete relationships unnecessarily waste our energy: after all, we are not receiving anything in return, only giving - love, attention, hopes, and so on. It is important to learn how to stop, put an end. If the former man remains a friend, but continues to count on something more, explain to him or end any relationship.

If incompleteness manifests itself on your part, explain to yourself. As a rule, women suffer from incomplete relationships. There may be several reasons:

• Usually tormented by the fear of not finding a better man and being left alone.
• A woman invests in a man more than she receives from him.
• A man in the subconscious symbolizes someone close, respectively, the loss of him means as much as the loss of a mother or father.

Ways to close the gestalt

1. We spend a lot of energy on these relationships, which will not lead to anything good. Try to sublimate it, direct it to create something new - create something with your own hands, write something, and so on. This will allow you to unload and take a fresh look at the relationship that is holding you back.
2. Try this technique: draw a point on A4 paper and, looking at it for ten minutes, imagine that your feelings leave you and move through the so-called "third eye" to a point on the sheet. Internally say "I am putting an end to this relationship." Do this every day for a month.

How often in the life of every person there are situations when everything seems to be fine, wonderful and excellent, but no - something gnaws, some stupid grievances, wrong events, and in general something strange happens? This may be a reason that is quite simple for psychotherapists, but not very clear for ordinary people - the existing open gestalt. What it is, why it opened and how to close it, we will consider in this article.

What is an unclosed gestalt?

An unclosed gestalt is a kind of chain that attracts to a certain place, event or person. To put it simply, then, for example, you buy a kilogram of cakes, you want them madly. Come home, bite and gorge on each of the cakes. And then you go, realizing that you have a whole package of bitten cakes, and you do not want them. But they are bitten. Therefore, they must be finished. But I don’t want to. This situation clearly illustrates an example of an unclosed gestalt.

In other words - any unfinished event, unfinished action or something that did not end as expected or wanted - all this is an unfinished gestalt.

Why is that bad? Let's imagine a comical example: you ate and did not eat, say, pasta and sausage. And so you are walking down the street, working, living your life, and these half-eaten pasta and sausages are relentlessly following you. Sounds funny, doesn't it?

And if instead of pasta, you imagine an unsuccessful relationship, an unfinished work project, an unfinished blouse, or something else? Already starting to look like a horror movie. But the worst thing is that, in fact, it is so - all this haunts you, albeit invisibly, but with the same feeling of horror and hopelessness. That is why the presence of an uncovered gestalt is a serious problem.

How to identify

"Well, this is definitely not about me!" - every second will think and be wrong. Because this problem is quite acute, and, unfortunately, almost everyone has one or more gestalts.

How to identify an unfinished gestalt in yourself? Think about what exactly happens in your life that grabs the maximum of your attention? What happens with enviable regularity that you cannot control? How often do events follow the same scenario?

If you were able to at least roughly identify some patterns, or clearly see the same situation that does not let go of its embrace, you have found it, your unfinished gestalt.

The next step is to understand its causes. However, if you have read up to this point, then it will not become too much of a difficulty. An incomplete gestalt is also characterized by the fact that all your attention is directed to it, or it attracts a lot of time and energy, even if you are practically not aware of it.

Incomplete gestalt effect

An unfinished gestalt has an unpleasant effect - you, by all means, want to complete it. This is due to the peculiarity of our psyche - it does not tolerate affairs with an "open end", that is, any effect of incompleteness. So, for example, if your parting with your loved one turned out to be crumpled and vague (he just suddenly moved away or disappeared without explaining the reasons), then by all means you want to find out the reason for such an incident - you will persistently seek meetings with him to ask "why?" ... Or you will look for reasons in yourself, they say, they don't leave the good ones like that. Or you will start a new relationship, and in them you will try to find the answer, how it was possible to leave you like that. And if you are zealous, then the new loved one will also leave, which will confirm you in a state of incomplete gestalt. And that's it, crash.

It's the same if you take, for example, work - you are doing a long-term project, or only part of it, and until this project is completed, you no, no, and you return to it in your thoughts. At the same time, productivity in relation to all other work falls.

Simply put, the effect of any unfinished problems is extremely negative - they bind you to the past, to the past, which should have been forgotten long ago, because this does not allow you to move on. That is, roughly speaking, you just get stuck in a swamp, from which you do not want to get out, or even if you want, but the bog holds your legs tightly. And now you think how wonderful it is to walk in that nearby clearing, but this is not for you, because you have a quagmire. Well, or you are trying to walk, but that's all the same in a quagmire, and not in a clearing.

How to complete a gestalt

And now a logical question arises - how to close this gestalt? How to get out of the quagmire, get rid of the shackles, stop thinking about the past altogether? To do this, firstly, you need to concentrate on the present. And secondly, letting go of the past. Gestalt therapy will be the best assistant in this action, but you can try to cope on your own. Let's consider several methods of self-study.

Become aware of your own unfinished gestalts

Feel your emotions and feelings: what are they connected with, where they came from, why you feel bad. It is better if you write it all down, because this is how you can see the whole picture as if from the outside. Then think about why you have exactly this reaction to these events.

Understand what exactly is within your power in these situations, and what does not depend on you with all the desire. Make a clear distinction between these areas.

Think, have you done everything in your power? If so, try to accept this thought - everything in your power has been done. It doesn't depend on you anymore. If not, then you at least see that you can still “finish off” something in this situation.

Shift your focus

Most often, unfinished gestalts arise where you deliberately concentrate on what you cannot influence. This means that you cannot influence the feelings and desires of other people, their consciousness, and so on. Precisely because you focus on the ideal picture, where another person, a formed personality, acts exactly as you imagined YOU, and similar difficult situations arise, shackling, pulling to the bottom.

If you understand that this is exactly what is happening with you, then shift your focus of attention to what is within your power. Not "he will love me, and we will be happy until the grave," but "I will try to please him, perhaps he will be interested." Don't do that again.

What is an unfinished gestalt? An unfinished Gestalt is a chain that binds us to people, places, life situations. These are unfinished situations. Simply put, he took an apple, took a bite and put it aside. He took another one, took a bite, put it next to the first one. You nibbled a dozen and you sit unhappy, you don't understand what the matter is. Or - he was sewing a beautiful outfit, but there was not enough thread for the sleeve, and it lies unfinished, eyes callous, does not give rest. So much for a man with a ready, unfinished Gestalt.

And people with unfinished Gestalts are still “those” people who try to complete them in other situations and with other people, imposing roles on them in their own unfinished business, because it is in the nature of people to strive to complete unfinished actions and achieve a sense of integrity and tranquility.

So, for example, I could not once understand what a person needs, what he is hysterical about, what he is hinting about and what they generally “want”. But it turned out that with me the person was playing his unfinished Gestalt. Was dissatisfied with the previous relationship, in which it failed, and subconsciously played them again, but with me. But this does not happen, I am different, and my thoughts are different, and I feel differently. You have to finish there, not with me.

Or I, for example, am also good: I was jealous, expected to be praised by someone important to me, to take care of me, show attention, but - Nat. That is why I was mischievous and, with inspiration that I could only understand, “ate away the brain” of another person, so that he, therefore, had a reason to take care when I fell into childhood from an excess of feelings and fell out of balance.

The sense of completeness, by the way, is consonant with intuition. For example, you have a desire to send some kind of booger to hell, here is a direct message bursting out of you, but you have tolerance and politeness. Or worse, indecision. And while you are thinking about how it would be more appropriate to replace the three-letter word, the booger suddenly takes and disappears / sends you. And you are left with your unfulfilled message and indignation one on one.

In general: When we really want something / someone, but "wigwam"; When we parted with someone on a very strange note, never really understanding what had happened; When we have not completed a work or action, and, returning mentally to this, we experience irritation and discomfort - this is an unfinished Gestalt in all its glory.

Incompleteness can arise from not expressed love, unrequited guilt, actions not taken in the past. If he failed to timely express the disappointment, anger, grief, sadness, indignation that arose in relationships with people. Unfinished actions block. We feel unhappy and tense, a hotbed of chronic displeasure and anxiety arises inside.

Do you know when you will free yourself from negative emotions, bitterness and resentment? When you feel that you do not need anything from this person - neither his love, nor his respect, nor his approval, nothing at all. Until then, you will not be able to control your emotions, you will be angry, think of revenge and feel unhappy. Deep down, you still want something from this person, you are emotionally attached to him, but you don't even admit it to yourself.

A man is floundering in a puddle of people who didn’t give / didn’t take / didn’t appreciate / didn’t notice. From time to time he gets out of it, but it is not always possible to shake off the adhering dirt and clay from himself - and they slow down, interfere with moving on. Forgiving is giving up the resentment, hatred, and other feelings that accompany incompleteness. Try to remember only the good things that were associated with this person, because gratitude allows you to get rid of feelings of indignation.

Stress, insomnia, irritability and neuroses feed on unfinished activities. They can incapacitate and permanently deprive the ability to concentrate. Postponing the decision: eating an apple - finishing an outfit - sending a booger is a typical example of an unfinished Gestalt. Feelings, emotions, experiences that were not expressed and completed in the past. And, most importantly, the avoidance of their completion - these "avoidances" do not allow a person to live a full life. A person slips when irritation cannot find a way out.

The greatest difficulties in resolving Gestalts are that often those around and even close people (and this is very important, damn it!) Are not able to support the expression of these feelings, do not accept them and deny their significance, considering them stupid and even dangerous. As a result, a person develops defense mechanisms in order to cope with his own feelings, which he feels, but supposedly should not or does not want to feel himself.

Yes, many unfinished business is no longer possible to complete in real life. Someone was never dealt with, but he took it and left / died / disappeared, or the situation is not the same and the milk ran away. Rhetorical question: what to do? The need, as you know, requires activity.

You can complete:

- through returning to old actions
- referring to parallel situations in the present
- play a scene - "on the topic"
- to dream up how it could end.
- either accept things as they are

Nothing, nothing, I will still figure out how to express, release the energy that was frozen, and it will be possible to move on, to a new experience. So, start with a simple one, and then you look - and the Gestalts will begin to close one by one, the chains will burst and you will be happy.

Take care of yourself, or something. Tatiana Gribanova. The article is posted with the permission of the author.

In psychology, the concept of "gestalt" means integrity. It is to integrity that our psyche always strives. But as often happens, when we started a business, we got distracted and didn't finish. Or we have experienced an event that we cannot let go and forget. Integrity is broken, and we are tormented by an incomprehensible anxiety, irritability, internal tension. Psychologists will say that this is how it manifests itself unfinished gestalt.

Since childhood, a whole multitude of such unclosed processes can accumulate, from simple to deep ones that are not always realized. How can this be dangerous? Is it really worth worrying about how to close gestalt?

The essence of incompleteness

To make it clear what an unfinished gestalt is, here are a few examples. You opened your mail, started reading the letter, it seemed important to you, but suddenly someone called. In the course of the conversation, a certain thought came to you that you would like to express, but did not have time, because you heard the crying of the child, hung up and ran to check what had happened. Then they got down to daily business, cleaning, work, etc. It seems to be nothing special, but until the end of the day you are not letting go of thoughts of an unfinished conversation, an unfinished letter, and a host of other unfinished business. This negatively affects your emotional state, and therefore, on your behavior. Such unclosed gestalts are quite simple, but there are situations that are much more serious.

For example, a person in childhood experienced a traumatic event that made a strong impression on him, but none of the adults considered it necessary to explain to him what exactly happened, why it happened, and what to do next. Another example, when on an incomprehensible note, a serious relationship ended, and he did not have time to express the desired emotions and feelings. This kind of unfinished gestalt in love and relationships binds us, like invisible chains, with certain scenarios of life, people and situations. An event or relationship has long been pushed out of memory, but the trace in the form of unreasonable fear, tension and anxiety remains. Work that remains unfinished, unfulfilled desire, relationships that do not let go, unexpressed emotions, unlived events - all these are unfinished gestalts that close the doors to a fulfilling life.

Why are unfinished gestalts dangerous?

Imagine a person working at a computer, constantly opening new applications and programs without closing the previous ones. Sooner or later, depending on performance, the system will start to glitch, give errors, until it completely freezes. It also happens with the human psyche with a large number of unfinished processes. Why is unclosed gestalt becoming a problem for a person? The fact is that psychic energy is released in response to the appearance of a need (say, live, express, complete, etc.). And everything that is not finished tends to be completed.

Thus, when the gestalt is not completed, a large amount of energy is expended in maintaining this suspended situation, which leads to the depletion of human resources. This can be expressed in the form of a decrease in concentration, unconscious tension, anxiety, irritation, psychological discomfort, insomnia.

Over time, a deep feeling of dissatisfaction with life appears, which can result in neurosis, depression, chronic stress, and somatic illnesses.

The danger of an open gestalt is that a person constantly returns to these situations, tries to experience them in other relationships with other people. He falls into a vicious circle and cannot move forward. You must understand how important it is to close the gestalt of past relationships, experienced situations, unexpressed emotions in order to move forward and live a fulfilling life here and now.

The influence of gestalts on loved ones

It would seem how our unfinished situations can affect other people? However, the closest people - children and partners - suffer the most from this. For example, a person who at one time dreamed of becoming an artist, but went on the instructions of his parents to a law school, will, without realizing his unfinished aspiration, send his child to all kinds of creative circles. At the same time, they usually forget to ask the child himself about what he really wants, how to realize himself. After all, it is much easier to make an artist out of your child than to close the gestalt yourself, to work out an unfinished situation yourself.

In a relationship, incompleteness manifests itself in the form of whims, incomprehensible demands, tantrums and inappropriate behavior. And the fault is the lack of attention from the previous partner. In order not to torment people dear to the heart, it is necessary to work through and finish all unfinished processes, to strive to close the gestalt in past relationships.

Gestalt closure methods

How to end a gestalt that excites you? An important and unshakable rule: start with the simplest! Complete something that does not require much effort and mental resources, do what you have wanted for a long time, but constantly put off. For example, vacation, English courses, purchase of a subscription to a fitness club. In order for an unfinished gestalt to stop disturbing, sometimes it is enough just to pay attention to it. Awareness of true aspirations and desires allows you to close the issue once and for all. Think about what exactly torments you, what you didn’t realize, what you didn’t express. If it is possible to complete the situation with those people and in the circumstances in which it was opened, do it. It is more difficult to achieve this in a situation where the gestalt is not closed, and the people involved in the situation are not available. In this case, in order to achieve a completed gestalt, you can use the following methods:

- Express emotions, express thoughts to another person who will support you.

- Stop fighting. Just accept the unfinished process as such and stop emotionally reacting to it.

- Pay special attention. Pay close attention to pop-up images that refer to an unclosed situation. Bring actions, memories and other details to the level of consciousness. Thus, the information processed deliberately will complete the process.

- How to close the gestalt in a relationship with a man? Use the "transfer" technique. Practice an unfinished gestalt under similar circumstances in the present. For example, you realized that problems with your partner are due to the fact that you did not have a closed gestalt in a relationship with another person. Just asking your partner to take special care of you for a while will help release the incompleteness.

- Simulate the situation. Imagine how your unfinished gestalt could be closed. Try to imagine what kind of ending the situation you would like, live it mentally again and put an end to it.

How to protect against incomplete processes

You can recognize simple unclosed situations on your own, it is much more difficult to complete a gestalt from childhood, which is hidden in the subconscious. Here a psychologist will come to the rescue. However, in addition to working on completing already open gestalts, it is important to learn to avoid situations that create unnecessary bindings, so as not to fall into the net of incompleteness again. To do this, you should remember and follow three simple rules:

- Express your feelings and emotions openly. This is the most important rule, since the biggest problems are always associated with unexpressed experiences. Suppressing emotions is not an option, they will not disappear anywhere, but only transform into blocks and diseases. Therefore, if you are angry, sad, happy, express your feelings immediately. It's good to do this through creativity.

- Speak if you think it's necessary. Of course, in society there are certain rules of politeness and tolerance that do not always allow to speak openly. But, if you do not do this, your psychological health will suffer. Therefore, if it is not possible to express a thought directly to the addressee, share your opinion with a friend, act out this scene with someone to end the situation.

- And the simplest rule is to follow through with all your deeds, promises and work. Set reminders, plan, use any tricks so that unfinished work does not upset the emotional balance.