How to change character traits. Character of a person, character traits, how to change your character. The best and worst qualities of a person
Despite the fact that life sometimes makes people be rude, cynical and angry, many of us strive to change character. Fortunately, there are still bright aspirations in a person: almost everyone wants to be kind and sympathetic, as well as purposeful and efficient. Here lies the main problem. How to change character? Often our impulses remain just impulses. However, if you try, you can achieve good results.
Step one
Many experts say that focusing our thoughts on our negative qualities and the fact that we need to correct them is fundamentally the wrong tactic. First of all, you need to accept your character as it is. Yes exactly. After all, we are all people, with positive and negative traits. And the fact that there are completely different people helps us get along with ourselves. Of course, this does not mean that we should not strive to reduce the negative impact of some of our character traits on life. You just need to do it wisely. Having realized which of the features prevent us from living, we need to describe them in detail on a piece of paper, adding at the same time in which situations they manifest themselves most.
step two
Surely you have a favorite character: from a book, movie or cartoon. Most likely, he has those that you dream of. When asking yourself how to change your character, remember your favorite hero, and the answer will come by itself: by imitation. Imagine yourself as a noble knight or a Turgenev girl when you feel that this or that negative quality of yours is trying to spoil the mood for you and those around you. Gather into a fist all your will, courage and endurance; imagine that this is your main role in life ... And then everything will work out!
Step Three
Before you change your character, you must realize that everyone has a twin brother. The difference between them lies only in the "manner of behavior". For example, laziness is back side activity. Anger - kindness and good mood. Etc. So, to one degree or another, we all have a complete set of such "twin brothers", only some of us know how to make friends with them, and some do not. Therefore, when you are angry, for example, count to ten in your mind, imagining how you are walking along an imaginary path from anger to kindness and calmness. It doesn't take much effort, just count and breathe deeply. Wait a little, and the negative manifestation of one of your character traits will turn into a positive one.
Do not demand instant results from life or from yourself, because, of course, you can change your character, but not immediately. Only with a clear thought that you really need it, as well as using various techniques (not only those described above, but also them too), can you change, become at least a little better. And, as you know, when and his life. So get started on your work!
"Please tell me, ? I'm 20 years old and I can't control myself. I can be either angry and aggressive, or kind of normal and calm. And then again I start to snap at everyone, I can get nasty, slam the door. Often offended by trifles. Sometimes I try to hold back, but I'm not enough for a long time. I hate myself like this. I have almost no friends. What should I do with myself?
Victoria Vinnikova, teacher answers:
Hello Anna. We all dream of being better. Someone is tired of being annoyed and snapping at others, the other wants to become decisive and self-confident, the third is tired of being rude and offended. Most often we are talking about stable habits, but at the same time we all want to change the character.
In this article, we will show you 5 easy steps to understanding what character you have and how you can fix it.
1. Everyone has their own disposition and special temperament
Obviously, all people are different. One person is nimble and agile from birth, and it may seem to a calmer person that the nimble one has such a restless character. The other is slow and thorough, prone to systematization and analysis. And then a smart person can say that the first one has a boring character.
Someone is overly emotional, someone is more closed in himself. We all have our own characteristics, and when describing a person, we add different epithets: hysterical, emotional, artistic, withdrawn, etc. And what - all these people need to change their nature and quickly ask themselves: how to change the character for the better?
The scientific answer is in the area of the unconscious, which is studied and revealed by the Systemic Vector Psychology of Yuri Burlan.
When we want to change our character, we first need to understand what exactly we want to change in it, that is, to understand what exactly prevents us from achieving the desired result or makes us suffer.
System-vector psychology gives a clear answer why this or that does not work out in life and how to fix it: while using your character correctly.
As in the well-known proverb: if you sow an act, you will reap a habit, if you sow a habit, you will reap a character, and if you sow a character, you will reap a destiny.
2. Character - congenital or acquired?
We are all different from each other, but at the same time, our desires, properties and aspirations can be combined into groups that Yuri Burlan's system-vector psychology calls vectors.
So the character of each person is determined by his innate vectors.
You can pout at your character, but it won't change anything. It is better to understand how everything works and fix what can be changed.
3. Habits are formed from childhood
Obviously, character is formed from childhood. It is there that we make our first actions, which then become habits. Good or not is another question.
All our actions are dictated by unconscious desires for pleasure, says the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan. Therefore, the formation of childhood habits is based on the desire of the child to receive pleasure or avoid suffering.
When, for example, the innate desire of a person with a skin vector - by nature fast, dexterous, constantly on the move - is suppressed in childhood and he is forced to “sit evenly and not twitch”, as a result, he develops a habit of fuss and flickering.
And if a child with an anal vector, which is by nature thorough and unhurried, was constantly urged and hurried, then from childhood he develops such a character trait as stubbornness that outwardly looks like he falls into a stupor for any occasion.
“...During the training, I became the winner of the professional competition “Teacher of the Year”. I allowed myself to improvise from the stage (before I was afraid). There was confidence, courage, desire to experiment. There is no irritability or nervousness. At least I learned to control myself. Now more energy, desire to act.
Thanks to SVP, with all my passion, without saving, I live and give myself to life. I allow myself to be filled (in egoism!), because I want to give more to others. Previously, she considered it an “honor” to be a “martyr” and to carry a “cross” on herself. Now she allowed me to take off the layer of culture and feel my nature. It is a great pleasure to feel yourself! .. "
The famous inner smile appears already at a free online training in system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan.
Character is a reflection of our inner life. Many people think about this question: how to change the character for the better? Bad behavior can greatly darken life. Often people are repelled by indifference, stubbornness, cruelty, rudeness, unwillingness to meet halfway. For example, the intention to live only for oneself forms selfish aspirations. Such a person will never consider and take into account the needs of others. An ego-centered person is entirely focused on satisfying his daily desires. for the better? This article will tell about this.
Analysis of one's own behavior
We all know when we do wrong. In this case, a person has remorse. A good character is the result of personal work on oneself, acceptance of one's individuality and the eradication of addictions. Just like that, nothing changes, and even more so. Dissolving yourself is quite simple: you just have to give up on some manifestations of selfishness a few times, as it immediately becomes a habit.
Analysis own behavior will help to understand in what cases you were mistaken before, when you acted not quite beautifully. In order for actions to be visible, use the method of written comparison. Write down on paper situations in which you were wrong, and reflect on each point separately. It is important not to hide anything, not to hide from yourself. Otherwise, you will not be able to fully realize your own mistakes, which means you will miss the opportunity to correct them. Misbehavior needs to be corrected. Looking from the outside will help you realize what you really need to strive for.
Positive charge
Have you ever wondered why there aren't many truly happy people in the world? The thing is that we often do not know how to rejoice. Smile more often, give positive to relatives, colleagues! The manifestation of the best qualities of character begins with the ability to see beauty in everything that surrounds us. Notice how beautiful the dawn can be, how unique communication with close and dear people is.
If you learn to get the necessary charge of positive every day, you will feel cheerful all day long. Having an optimistic view of the world is very important if you want to succeed. As a rule, happiness accompanies those who know how to appreciate it. Smile more often, take care of your loved ones, appreciate all the good things in life. You can always find a reason for joy, if there is a desire.
Cultivating Honesty
People who do not know how to be sincere can never become completely happy. It would seem, how is character related to inner satisfaction? It's simple: the manifestations of certain traits affect the feelings of others. Accordingly, they make a conclusion inside themselves whether it is pleasant for them to interact with us, whether they want to continue communication in the future. Sometimes we don’t even notice that we can inadvertently offend someone, hurt someone.
How to change character for the better? Start cultivating honesty in yourself. A sincere attitude will help change the character, remove the reaction of self-defense. You will notice that communication with people will bring more joy and inner satisfaction. Show yourself from a position of sincerity. Keep this promise, do not let your mood spoil and break down over trifles.
Meditation
Why is inner comfort so important for maintaining emotional balance? All these components directly affect the character of a person. Experts in the field of psychological science have proven that manifestations of intolerance, slander, aggressiveness are always associated with some serious internal problem. Most often, children's grievances, karmic flaws make themselves felt. It is advisable to start cultivating a love of life in oneself with liberation from oppressive experiences and addictions. To change character, it is not enough just to quit smoking or express dissatisfaction endlessly.
Meditation gives a person a sense of inner security. One who constantly practices various spiritual practices eventually begins to feel confident and self-sufficient. The character changes on its own. A person consciously cultivates in himself such traits as tolerance, responsibility, an optimistic view of the world as a whole. If you begin to practice meditation, you will soon notice that you have begun to lead a healthy lifestyle. Bad habits gradually disappear without leaving any trace.
Talent Discovery
Each person has unique inclinations towards something. Only often we forget about them, do not strive to develop the existing abilities. This is a big omission, a colossal mistake that should be corrected as soon as possible. Disclosure of talents contributes to the correction of character. How? The fact is that a person who has found his place in life necessarily becomes happy. He stops complaining about gray everyday life, does not seek to conflict with others, does not spread gossip behind his back. The negative manifestations of life simply do not interest him. A happy person is busy with inspiring thoughts, he has a need to share his joy with others.
Think about what type of activity is especially close to you? If you still have not found yourself, maybe it's time to devote precious days, hours and minutes to this issue?
Giving help
There are many people in the world who may need your active participation. First of all, you should pay attention to your loved ones. Do good deeds, do not skimp on the manifestations of human warmth and genuine participation. From you will not decrease, and people will be really pleased. Remember that everyone wants to feel needed.
Rendering assistance greatly affects the character, educates a person's sensitivity. Such a person will not pass by a needy old man or child, will not offend an animal. Whoever helps people in some way notices that thinking changes completely: you start thinking less about yourself, focusing more on the needs of others. A kind person always has a kind word. Just think about how many people really need attention and comfort.
Action control
Of course, character cannot be changed overnight. It will take a long time before you can tell yourself that you have got rid of bad habits and all kinds of irritation. Try to control your actions in the future in order to prevent the manifestation of anger, envy, disappointment and unfair treatment of others. Remember, the more warmth and joy you give to others, the better for everyone. However, you should not expect any gratitude in return, do not demand immediate returns, just be generous, magnanimous. Allow yourself to rejoice in the achievements of others, eradicate all selfishness!
Instead of a conclusion
Thus, work on character is a direct responsibility of each of us. First of all, a person is required to take responsibility for what is happening. Become open and sincere in manifestations of care and love, then you don’t have to think about how to change your character for the better.
According to the definition of psychologists, a person's character is an individual set of personal properties that determine a person's attitude to everything around him and are manifested in his actions.
The most basic, basic character traits are laid down in early childhood, it can be confidently asserted that already at the age of 5-6 a child has a sufficiently developed character. Already in the second year of life, a boy either demonstrates strong-willed qualities to adults, and by the age of 3-4 years, a child’s business properties are already being formed.
All signs of communicative inclinations appear at the age of 4-5 years, when the child begins to actively participate in role-playing games in a group of other children.
While studying at school, the process of character formation continues, but if parents and teachers have the maximum influence on a student in the lower grades, then starting from the middle grades, the child listens more and more to the opinions of their peers, but in the senior grades, the assessments and recommendations of adults again become important.
During this age period, the young person is also significantly influenced by the media.
In the future, the character will change somewhat on the basis of personal meetings, relationships with other people, at an older age, some personality traits change again, but for other reasons.
At the age of 50, a person finds himself as if on the border between the past and the future, he no longer builds grandiose plans for his future life, but it is still too early to completely immerse himself in memories. After 60 years, a person is already clearly aware of the full value of both the past and the present, he develops slowness and measuredness in reasoning and actions, even if such qualities were not inherent before.
Can an adult change his character?
After reaching the age of thirty, cardinal changes in character occur extremely rarely, but still it is never too late to change yourself. A person at any moment of life can influence those traits of his character that he himself does not like, there are many methods for this, but the main thing is that the decision to change must be voluntary and conscious.
In such a situation, a systematic approach will help a lot. On a separate piece of paper, you need to write out those character traits that cause irritation, and in front of each write in what exactly they manifest themselves. Having weighed everything written, it will be much easier for a person to control himself and prevent further undesirable actions on his part.
The process of character formation is long, complex, and it will not be easy to get rid of unpleasant traits, but it is still possible, and a person will feel especially uncomfortable during the first week after making a decision. When control over unwanted character traits becomes a habit, it will be much easier to monitor your behavior, and the person himself will not notice how his life, and the life of his loved ones, will change for the better.
Every person who experiences dissatisfaction or a need for development is thinking.
Many scientists consider character as a set of personality traits. Psychologists believe that character affects behavior, communication features, abilities and success in their implementation. It is noticed that the character manifests itself in different ways in the conflict.
Everyday psychology pays attention to how the character of people manifests itself in life, everyday life, and at work. Obviously, there are people who have a bad, unbearable character. And vice versa, there are kind people: they have a good, flexible character.
It happens that in paired relationships people do not understand each other, they say about them: "They did not agree on the characters."
And what does modern science say about the possibility of changing character?
The system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan explains how and where the character of each person arises, whether it is necessary to change one's character, what are the characteristics of different people, and how they can be influenced.
We are different and at the same time the same. We want happiness and we don't want suffering.
As the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan says, the whole variety of our characters is made up of eight vectors. Each vector reflects the characteristics of the psyche and shows what the character of a person is.
What kind of character do people with a skin vector have?
In a developed and realized state, they are flexible, easy-going, active people striving for change. They bring new technologies, new types of business, new laws to the world.
And in bad states - traitors, prone to theft, drink too much quickly.
Why do they get into bad states? Most often due to overstress: it is difficult for them to endure material losses or loss. They also react painfully to the lack of opportunities for success and career opportunities. Then the character fails, and a person born to win, due to failure, does not show himself in the best way. Is it possible in such a situation to understand how to change your character?
At the training in system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan, the mechanism for forming a life scenario for failure and how to change such a scenario for a more successful one is explained.
And what are people with an anal vector by their nature?
In good mental states, they are reliable, caring people, good parents and specialists, professionals in their field, and owners of a phenomenal memory.
And in the bad - stubborn, touchy, aggressive, postponing their affairs and life itself for later. They can not be argued, they believe that they are always right.
Where do bad states come from, and how do they affect character?
Sometimes it’s because they can’t readjust in the face of unexpected turns in their own life scenarios, for example, they were looking for a pure, holy, decent woman, but found - not very much. So dissatisfaction with oneself is growing, but more often with other people.
Many problems are rooted in childhood. When parents, especially a mother, could not give the necessary attention to a small diligent child with an anal vector: they hurried, did not praise, scolded or ignored his merits, he had resentment.
Because of a bad experience, a person makes a transfer to other people: “All people are their own ...” - and cannot take place in society. With age, resentment increases in people with an anal vector, and the character deteriorates even more because of this.
Is it possible to change the character after the training in system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan? Of course, there are a lot of reviews about this from people who have completed the training and found their happiness, who have changed their attitude towards themselves and their lives.
“... Before joining the training in Systemic Vector Psychology, I could not have imagined that in just a couple of lectures my life and perception of myself and people would begin to change so dramatically.
A couple of lectures against 9 years of active spiritual searches! Having received such simple and natural knowledge lying on the surface, I noticed that interaction with people has changed by 180 degrees. Hostility gave way to compassion, arrogance to empathy, selfishness to concern for another person ... "
Anastasia, Cyprus
“... I lived through a difficult life stage, it seemed that everything was collapsing and there was nothing to cling to. Although it didn’t seem, it really collapsed: relations with her husband, joint business, misunderstanding with children.
The very first, even during the training, a stone fell from my heart - the resentment towards my mother dissolved, which did not allow me to fully enjoy every moment of our communication.
My results are many. V Everyday life it is a pleasant ease in communicating with people, they are interested in me, and I am with them. I don’t seem to be doing anything special, but they are people, even little acquaintances, for some reason set themselves the task of doing pleasant things for me, they constantly make me happy ... "
Evgenia, Oktobe
It also happens that we want to change the character of other people! We are trying to make a similar person out of our child or partner, not distinguishing the mentality of either our own or the child.
We seem to forget that an orange will not grow from an apple seed, but, as the people say, "neither this nor that."
To find out for sure what to develop, and to understand how the character changes along with development, as well as to change your character for the better, come to Yuri Burlan's free online training on system-vector psychology. Register via the link.
The article was written using materials from online trainings on system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan
