The first step is always the hardest. It doesn’t matter what we want to do: clean the house or start moving towards the goal. Taking the first step can be scary. And that's okay.

Why does the first step cause such internal resistance? How to force yourself to do something? How to use the energy of the first step to your advantage? You will find answers to questions in this article.

The hardest part is taking the first step!

Most often, the fear of the first step arises from the seemingly large amount of work ahead. In addition, we may be afraid that we may not be able to cope. Well, ordinary laziness can beat off any desire to act.

That's why we love getting started so much.

Undoubtedly, every person faced the unwillingness to start something. Let's find out how to overcome this internal resistance.

The good news is that energy fills us as soon as we finally take the first step.

Example: We need to clean the dust from the closet. But so lazy! Okay, we still force ourselves to pick up a rag and wipe the cabinet from dust. AND??? What happens next? Suddenly, instead of wiping dust in one place, we find ourselves doing global cleaning throughout the apartment! What happened? But what about recent laziness?

It turns out, friends, we get energy recharge when we start doing something. , remember? The world energizes us as soon as we begin to fulfill our plans.

The main thing is to start by taking the first step.

This knowledge can and should be used to your advantage. Persuade yourself to do something for 5 minutes - and there is a very high probability that you will get involved in this business and completely do what you previously did not want to do.

Action creates energy for its further execution.

That is, even if you do not have energy for some activity, just try to do it. After all, you have nothing to lose, you can always stop. If it's not rushing, then it's not rushing.

And it's not just about cleaning. Very often, our goals remain unfulfilled dreams, because we have not been able to overcome the fear of the first step. And all you had to do was start...

It doesn't matter what the end result is. Yes, if you do something, it may not work out. But if you do nothing, then nothing will work 100%. than to berate yourself for missed opportunities all your life.

The main thing is to take the first step towards dreams, goals, desires!?

Good luck, friends.

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To reach your goal, you must at least take the first step. But besides this, it is necessary to choose a path that will give strength and lead to the speedy implementation of the plan. Entrepreneur, life-strategist Evgenia Tarasova told how to decide on something, even if it's very scary, and how to go from inspiration, not through pain.

The first step towards the goal: what is the problem

Everyone knows the saying that every journey begins with the first step. That is, all you need to do is start your personal movement towards the idea, goal, dream that you have been cherishing for a long time. But in reality, everything turns out differently. We find 1000+ reasons why we are not ready yet: quit a job we hate, start a new project, talk with a partner about a relationship, make a financial plan for our well-being, open a business, start running, and so on.

The most common reason for postponing the first step is the desire to be sure that you made the right decision, that you are not mistaken, that the steps that you have planned will definitely lead to your goals.

Behind all this, most often lies the fear of failure.

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We want guarantees. To be sure. And in no case do we want to put up with the possibility of error. We don't want to waste time and energy. We need to be 100% sure, and then we can take that very cherished first step.

And behind all this, most often there is just a fear of failure. "What if it doesn't work?!" And now the worst thoughts about the consequences are already tormenting my head.

How to take the first step

I managed to build a successful career as a top manager in a large company. But I would never have achieved this if I had endlessly sat in my office looking for the perfect strategies. Let what I say below throw off the illusion of an ideal path from your soul.

Any set of actions will lead you to a result if:

• you will keep the focus on the end goal;
• you will take new and new steps, despite the trajectory of your path;
• you will be flexible, taking responsibility for any intermediate result.

How to decide to take the first step:

• Make an action plan based on the current state of affairs and resources.
• Don't delay, take your first micro step today.
• Keep your locators ready to find the best strategies.
• Give yourself permission to make adjustments to your original plan as you move forward.
• Enlist the support of the environment that is on the same wavelength with you.
• Allow yourself to make mistakes, accept it as an obligatory part of the path.
• Be sure: the moment you take 1 step, reality begins to move towards you 2 times faster

Ways to achieve goals: pain or inspiration

There is a theory that there are two main ways personal development: from pain and from inspiration.

Path from inspiration - Satori

With this approach, a person is looking for new opportunities, striving forward even when everything is already so good. It is following inspiration, insight. Often this path is closely intertwined with intuition.

Path from Pain - Kensho

This is when a person begins to develop only after a strong decline, pain. He can live for a long time with a desire for change, but he does not initiate them himself, waiting for an extreme situation, when there will simply be nowhere worse. With this approach, a person learns from mistakes, suffering and pain and, thus, becomes better than he was. This is a path of constant stress.

Until you align those areas of life in which goals come from pain, your resources will go nowhere.

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Take a look at your list of life goals and note which ones are from “pain” (to save, even out the current situation), and which are from “inspiration” (to improve what is already there).

• If the goals are set from inspiration, this will strengthen them, accelerate their implementation. And this is a desirable situation, a guideline for everyone. You can praise yourself if all your goals are from inspiration.
• If the goals are set from pain, this is a “beacon”. I recommend that you look at what areas of life these goals are from, and focus your attention on them in the next month or two.

It is important to understand: until you align those areas of life in which goals are now coming from pain, resources from other areas (where everything is fine with you) will go nowhere, literally absorbed by areas “with problems”.

For example:

You stopped playing sports, go to bed late, drink little water during the day, and even use sweets daily to cheer you up - pretty quickly you will feel a strong subsidence in health, figure and your energy.

If you do not take action in time (return to regular sports, water, sleep and monitor the amount of sugar), you will fall into the cycle of “even worse”. Doping will be required more and more. Even larger sizes of sweets will be used, coffee will become a necessity, a breakdown will be removed by endless series, and discontent - by uncontrolled purchases.

1) He is too indecisive and modest. You often catch the look of his shy and slightly frightened eyes on you. And she wouldn't mind getting to know him better. He looks at you for a long time, trying to convey a silent request to do something, even a tiny step in his direction, which will let him understand, to make sure that his timid and vulnerable nature will not be rejected by you. A small step, which, perhaps, will betray his courage in his subsequent actions towards you.

2) You think about him all the time until you sleep, and in a dream he constantly appears to you in his image of a magnificent, unsurpassed super guy, endowed with exceptional virtues that you were able to discern in him at the first glance at his divine face. It doesn't matter to you whether it is accepted or not in our conservative society to give the right of the first step to a lady. Only one thought disturbs you: what will he think? Will your initiative push him away? But even these thoughts fade into the background when you look at him again, the guy of your dreams. You want to be with him always, to feel his breath on your skin, the touch of his lips and warm hugs. You're almost sure it's love. The matter remains small: to find out whether he really experiences the same thing as you, and whether you have a chance to be together.

3) You are active and confident enough to make the choice yourself. After all, who said that girls should only passively sit back and wait until they are noticed by that one and only? Do you agree with the opinion that the representatives of the fair sex themselves choose the guys and your happiness is only in your hands. You want and will be with who you want to be with YOU, and not with someone who wants to be with you.

5) You don't have much time. You only saw him recently and you may never see him again. Do you feel that for this a short time he managed to become very dear to you and this is not a game of hormones at all. You do not want to lose him and then, perhaps, regret that you missed the chance that fate so successfully threw you.

6) Once he was in love with you, but you pushed him away. And now, suddenly, I realized that you yourself were breathing unevenly in relation to him. Yes, and something tells you that his feelings remained the same. Of course, in this case, you can really get burned, because, perhaps, he will want to inflict the same pain on you that you once delivered to him. But, as they say, who does not take risks, he does not drink champagne. In any case, it's up to you.

7) You have been talking for a long time and you are almost sure that he likes you not just as a friend and an intelligent interlocutor. You feel good and have fun together, and you yourself begin to feel something more than just friendly affection for him. But there is no attempt on his part to get closer. It's like he's afraid of something or something is stopping him. Perhaps he is not sure that you are ready for the development of your relationship and is waiting for you to let him know this. With his confession, he is afraid to spoil the wonderful connection that exists between you now. Try to gently start a conversation with him on this topic. So that in a pinch there is always the opportunity to step back at the right moment and reduce everything to a harmless joke.

8) And finally, you are just tired that everything always happens on someone else's initiative. You want to try on a new image of an insidious conqueror and temptress. Or maybe you have been captured by the ideas of feminism that have become so widespread these days. Today it is not him, but you will order the music! Why do only guys have the right to choose? After all, this is unfair! If you think so, then this last reason was written especially for you.

You shouldn't take the first step if...

You're not sure if you really need it.
...this is completely contrary to all your life principles and views.
... you are too timid and shy for such an initiative.
... you know for sure that he has a girlfriend with whom he is in love and has been dating for a long time.
... you feel that this person neglects you, and perhaps avoids you altogether.
...he is attracted to people of the same sex. More specifically, if he's gay.
...you can't answer yes to the question of whether it will make you happy.
... you feel that a little more, and he himself will "ripe" for decisive action.

And, in conclusion, remember the most important thing: to love and open your feelings to the person you love is never humiliating or ashamed. Do not despair if you suddenly receive a refusal or even a mockery of your confession. You are a strong and courageous girl if you were able to openly show your feelings. Appreciate and respect yourself and you will surely succeed! Good luck!

Lika Heavenly

When we like someone, we feel an inner uplift. We are starting to think about moving to the next level in our relationship with this person, but we want the process to go as smoothly as possible. The stronger your feelings at the same time, the more likely that you will do or say something wrong. Taking the first step is quite difficult (both for a girl and a young man), but this article will help you with this.

Steps

Part 1

Training

Pay attention to body language, which can tell you more than words. Only 7% of our daily communication is in words. 55% of our communication takes place in body language. Before taking the first step, pay attention to, for example, a long look or an interested facial expression to determine if you get a positive response.

Communicate using body language. Send and receive the right signals. Your body language can let a person know that you like them.

Communicate. Physical methods of flirting are not the only ones; Chatting with the person you like is a great way to get to know them and possibly move to the next level in your relationship. Good communication skills indicate a person's self-confidence, and this is one of the most attractive human qualities. Men are more motivated by actions, while women are more motivated by the meaning of their partners' words. Good conversation is appreciated by both sexes. Here are some tips for keeping the conversation going:

Ask interesting questions. In a conversation with a person of interest to you, refrain from talking about the weather or questions that can be answered in one word (which will lead to awkward silence).

• Ask open-ended questions about current events or shared interests and hobbies.
• For example, ask questions such as “What book are you currently reading?” “Did you watch an interesting movie recently?” “What part of our city do you like the most?”
• Follow-up questions (“Who is your favorite character in this book?”, “What do you think about the ending of this movie?”, “Why do you like this particular part of the city?”) will make it clear to the interlocutor that you are listening carefully to his answers and that they tell you interesting.

1. Be open and honest. This does not mean that in the first conversation you need to tell the interlocutor about your life in all details, but be open and honest when talking about what you are looking for in a partner, about your views on life, and so on. This will testify to you as a self-confident person, and will make it clear to the interlocutor your position in life and your point of view, which he may share.

   Be positive. By saying positive things, you will be able to maintain a friendly attitude and a bright expression on your face. Negative words are inherent in closed people, which may not please your interlocutor. If you want to talk about unpleasant topics, do it in a joking manner. You need to be honest and open, but first try to maintain a friendly and fun atmosphere.

   Create a romantic setting. Plan a romantic date in advance and arrange it in an intimate setting. Instead of going to a movie or a restaurant, cook dinner and invite the person of your interest to your home. The idea is to create a comfortable yet romantic atmosphere.

   Don't complicate. If a romantic setting doesn't work for you or your crush, do something casual.

   Find out if your partner is ready for physical intimacy. It does not have to be verbal confirmation. People tend to use body language to show they are ready for it. Here body language varies, but in most cases this is evidenced by touching the face or body. Pay attention to your partner's reaction and adjust to it.

   Start with kisses. For some, this is as difficult as asking someone out on a date. Relax and be confident (but not aggressive). Maintain eye contact, pause the conversation when your faces close, and make sure your partner is okay with the kiss.

2. Take your time with the first contact. So you started kissing; take your time and make sure your partner is ready for the next steps. Light body touches will not only reveal your intentions, but will also give you an idea of ​​your partner's desires.

   • Take your time to give your partner time to tell you no. Everything must be done by mutual consent. If a person is not ready for physical intimacy, respect his desires.
   • Get ready for safe sex. To do this, stock up on condoms in advance (both men and women should have them). Enjoying each other during sex is great, but it's always important to remember to protect both yourself and your partner.

First step

For some reason, in the system of personal relationships, there is a certain stereotype that the first step towards acquaintance, rapprochement should be taken by a man. But the world is changing. And now ladies come to the fore with their active position.

There was a time when the wrong young men liked me. Either they were not smart enough, or they were far from young men, or they did not fit into my idea of ​​\u200b\u200bmale attractiveness ... In general, they did not answer what my heart desired. And those whom it desired sat in the corners and went about their business, not even suspecting how smart and beautiful I am and that their life without me no longer makes sense. Then I decided to take the initiative in my hands, feet and expressive eyes and go to conquer the beautiful princes on my own.

The first and main plus in the first step- you choose the one you like. More often it turns out that people like each other mutually. That is, there is approximately a 70% chance that the acquaintance with the selected object will be in your favor, and you will like it too. Of course, in order to approach and talk to a stranger, you need either incredible self-confidence, or some kind of indifference (“come what may” and “what am I losing”), or, excuse me, a certain degree of intoxication. Who is closer.

There are many ways to "approach" and it all depends on your imagination. But there are some simple tricks that most often work. Checked!

The easiest way to get to know, of course, at the disco or in club where the music plays. You liked a certain man, watch him: whether alone, with friends, whether there is a lady who “left for a minute”. If his loneliness is confirmed, humbly wait for slow music and boldly go to him. Having said “I invite you to a white dance”, slowly but surely turn around and walk away from the gentleman. In 9 cases out of 10, a man will follow you, if only to understand what happened. And then everything will go by itself.

Dating on the dance floor is the easiest way. Just do not immediately use the man you like as a pole and demonstrate all your prominent parts of the body - either you will run away, or you will get an acquaintance for one night.

In the cafe or restaurant meeting the representative of the stronger sex you like is also not difficult. It is enough to order something from your table through the waiter and unobtrusively attach a business card or a small note to the order. It is better to order something innocent and pleasant "on your own" rather than a bottle of expensive cognac. Let it be a portion of ice cream, a cup of coffee or some kind of fruit. It is better to refrain from pork steak with borscht - your goal is not to feed a stranger, but to draw his attention to his own person.

Generally, have bring business cards very helpful. After all, they can be distributed not only to business partners, but also to men you like. True, when you give a business card outside of work, it is better to add something personal to the official information: it can be either a simple emoticon or a poem in verse. You can “throw” a business card into a man’s pocket in the subway (again, attributing something other than the “standard set” there), at a party, during an event, and in any other situations. The main thing is to intrigue!

By the way, oh events. For example, you often attend presentations, exhibition openings, premieres, where a certain audience always goes. During regular trips, you could notice some interesting man for you. Therefore, at the next meeting, you already have every right to nod your head, say hello and even, having gathered courage, say something like “I saw you at the last presentation, are you also interested in contemporary art / cinema / books? By the way, my name is Maria! And further in the text. The fact that you already have a common interest and, accordingly, a topic for conversation is a sufficient reason to start an interesting acquaintance. A relaxed atmosphere, champagne will help to get to know each other better, and after the event you can continue the evening together in a cozy cafe.

The main thing during the first step is to relax and not think about the consequences. Because nothing bad will happen (and if it does, it will be much later, certainly not in the first minutes of communication). Get something out of your acquaintance - good. No - this will be an interesting experiment that can always be repeated. After all, you already did it the first time, which was the most difficult.