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How to find a way out of this situation. How to find a way out of a hopeless situation: conducting introspection, identifying mistakes, setting goals, drawing up a plan and advice from psychologists. Step #4 - Plan

In a person's life there are many complex and sometimes hopeless, impasse situations. And often people do not know what to do and how to get out of the impasse.

Today, on the site of psychological assistance in difficult life situations website, you will read the recommendations of a psychologist and learn how to find a way out of critical, seemingly hopeless situations in life.

Desperate situation - life's impasse

In most dead ends in life, people wind themselves up. And most often, any hopeless situation is only regarded as such by the person himself, because. at this critical, stressful moment, he cannot fully, to the fullest extent, use his intellect, knowledge and skills.

When a person is under stress, he thinks stereotypically, and on emotions - he is annoyed or depressed.

What is a stalemate, a hopeless situation in a person's life?
A psychological impasse, or a hopeless situation in life - it is also called a stalemate - is when a person cannot make the right life choice, is unable to find a solution to a problem, or does not know what to do under any difficult or critical circumstances.

He is under stress, depression or neurosis at this moment, therefore he cannot think and act adequately to the situation “here and now”.

What to do if you find yourself in a critical, difficult life situation?
The first thing to do in a crisis, deadlock situation is to understand in advance for yourself that there are no hopeless situations.

You can always find a way out of the circumstances and make your choice.

Prevention of crisis and hopeless situations in life
In order to prevent crises - to have as few of them as possible in life - you need to constantly expand your worldview - to make a wider model of the world, a map of reality.
And not to live constantly in stagnation, in your "comfort zone".

In other words, in order for you not to have serious impasses in life, you need to constantly engage in personal growth and self-development.

"Constantly" is a lifetime. Then you do not have to look for a way out of the impasse - you simply will not get into it.

How to find a way out of a hopeless situation

If you have ALREADY found yourself in a dead-end, crisis situation, then you need to immediately get out of it. First of all, by relieving stress and changing the attitude towards the problem itself.

How to find a way out of a dead-end, hopeless situation?

You can relieve stress almost instantly, for example, by relaxing with the help of psycho-training, deep breathing, or by changing your negative thoughts about the problem to more positive or neutral ones;
After you normalize thinking and emotions, you will be able to assess and adequately characterize the problem (often, only by changing your attitude, the problem disappears on its own);
If you have few obvious choices, for example only two, you will be able to rationally and adequately (without nerves) expand your worldview and see other possibilities for solving the problem;
If all choices are evil, then the lesser of several evils is chosen;
If you can’t get out of a hopeless situation on your own, resort to help ...

Help in a difficult life situation

When people cannot get out of life's impasse on their own - they are stressed, depressed, "nervous" - then professional, psychological help is needed in crisis situations.

After the removal of neurotic symptoms, it will be possible to find a way out of almost any hopeless situation.

Consult online psychologist-psychoanalyst Matveev Oleg Vyacheslavovich

From time to time we are faced with situations and circumstances that seem to us either intractable or insoluble at all. In such cases, having despaired of finding a way out of the existing situation, we are especially in dire need of an objective and sober view from the outside. But where to find it, this interested and thoughtful opinion? Where can we find a truly wise person who, in difficult times, will help us this only path, the thread of Ariadne, tell us how to break out of the vicious circle?

We very often entrust this responsible decision to our relatives or friends. This has its advantages. First, we certainly trust them. Secondly, one can hope that their "outside view" will be more accurate in assessing the situation. And thirdly, we simply do not know who else to turn to for help. The disadvantages of such a decision are also obvious: it is unlikely that the decision of your loved ones will be the best - if only because they do not know the whole depth of the problem, all its shades and nuances. This is known only to you. But what then to do in such cases?

There is an exit. And the most amazing thing is that you know it. You know how to solve the most difficult problem, how to find a way out of the most difficult and confusing situation. There is a solution. And if it’s hard for you to believe this, then think about how you are looking for keys that were not in the usual place. You know they are at home. You know for sure that they are somewhere. It is also obvious to you that sooner or later you will find them. But where are they?

In order to find a solution to a problem that defies the most desperate logic, we need to take a paradoxical path: to make it look like the problem has a solution, just as in school textbooks in physics and algebra all the answers to the tasks are given. All you have to do is find the relevant pages containing all these solutions and select the relevant answer. And in order to find those pages with answers to all our questions, we will need the so-called wise man technique: a psychological exercise that will allow us to reduce the search for solutions to the most complex problems of life to a minimum.

The wise man technique is performed only once, and after that you get answers to any, the most difficult questions of life. However, for this to actually happen, the technique must be done very thoroughly and seriously. It consists in the fact that you create in your imagination the image of a wise person who helps you solve all your problems. This image further accompanies you as a talisman. It will be like a genie that you can call out of the bottle in difficult times. And he will always come to your aid as soon as you ask him about it.

How is a wise person created? The imagination of a person is so strong that he can come up with almost everything that you can imagine. If you want to imagine for a moment what a pink tree will look like, then you can do it. You can easily create the desired pictures and images. You can also remember and reproduce the sounds of your favorite melodies, sing their motive to yourself. You can hear a voice: male or female, loud or quiet, high or low. If you wish, you can see the picture and hear how it can sound: for example, a ball that bounces on the floor not only has a certain color and shape, but also makes some sound when it bounces off the floor. We do all this thousands of times every day: we present pictures, we hear voices, and we can even see a full-color movie with our own participation.

In order to create a wise person, you will need exactly the ability to see with your inner eye and hear with your inner ear that you have. You do not need anything supernatural and amazing imagination. Wisdom, as a rule, is measuredness, smoothness and calmness in everything. However, if your wise man is dressed in orange-colored jeans and his hair is dyed in a viscous blue color, then I will not be surprised at all. Because your wise person can be anything. He can be with or without a beard, it can be a woman or a man. This person may be aged or, conversely, very young. If only he satisfies one important rule: the appearance of this person fully corresponds to your idea of \u200b\u200bwisdom and enlightenment.

It may take you several hours to create a wise person. Do not take pity on it, it will bring you great benefits, which can then be calculated in months and years, if we are talking about the time we spend looking for this or that solution. It is best if no one bothers you during these hours, and you can be alone with yourself, alone with your wise man. If you have found such an opportunity, you can proceed directly to the implementation of the technique.

Step number one. You will need a pen and a piece of paper. Get it all ready and then try to relax. Nothing needs to be done, you can sit quietly in a chair or even lie down. You will need to remember some of your past experiences, and this will be easy, because you will have to remember pleasant things. Please remember a few times in your life when you found a way out of a difficult situation. They can be anything, take the most obvious ones that come to your mind. How did you feel in those moments when you broke the vicious circle, when the situation was successfully resolved? Speak also to yourself about your role and merit: what exactly did you come up with in order for everything to fall into place? As soon as you remember this and say it, mentally put a tick or a cross, as people do when winding a thread around their hand or drawing signs on their palms to remember, and move on to another case with a similar result. Your task is to remember five (or more) such cases and mentally put crosses: they say, we remembered, we remember. Once everything is ready, write it all down on a piece of paper. Formulate something like this: "I did this and that, and my problem such and such was successfully resolved." Or: "I came up with such and such, and after that everything fell into place."

Step two. There are different types of wise people, and for each person they can be very different. Someone is convinced by a beard, someone by horn-rimmed glasses. The mind can be emphasized by certain clothes, age, or the presence of certain details. Knowing this, fantasize about what he is - your wise man? What would he look like if you met him? How would he be dressed? Maybe he even reminds you of someone? How would his voice sound? Fantasy boldly, freely, listen to your feelings. You can make notes on a sheet of paper, fixing its most important features or qualities. You can draw it if you can even draw a little. You should also decide where to meet your wise person. Perhaps it will be a quiet darkened office, or a hot desert, or an autumn forest. If you can't imagine something, then just think about how it would look if you could do it. Thank God it's easy to think about what people or things might look like. It's easy to think about what your wise person will look like.

At the end of the second step, you will have a complete picture of your wise person. You will also know the place of your meeting with him: a place that you can always either imagine or think about so that it fills your attention. You can also describe a wise person on paper. Do not spare words, describe it in as much detail as possible.

Step three. After you can imagine your wise person whenever you need to (just close your eyes and go to him, or let him come to you, or he will just appear in front of you as soon as you think about it), return to your list of those cases and situations in which you found a good solution and got out safely, and add one more such situation to this list. It will be easy, since we find a lot of similar decisions in our life. Repeat everything in exactly the same way: remember what a good solution you came up with, how you felt immediately after the situation was discharged, put a mental cross, as in previous cases, and then add this case to the list.

Step four. After completing step number three, try to relax again: lean back in your chair or take a supine position. Close your eyes and think about the difficult situation that exists in the present. Focus on it for a minute, that will be enough. After that, meet with your wise man, and as soon as he appears before you, ask him one question: what should you do in this situation?

As soon as you ask a question to your wise person, you will instantly receive an answer. It can be of any property: memory, image, picture, voice, phrase, and any other. Think about what you got. You can write it down, draw it, or say it out loud. You have received some important information that contains the answer to your question. You just have to understand what the wise person wanted to say by giving you this information.

In the future, during repeated meetings with a wise person, you can agree with him on ways to exchange information. You can find out what his name is, and for this it is quite enough for you to simply ask him about it. You can also hear his voice, and then, when asking your questions, you just have to listen to what he has to say. It may be that when you meet you do not hear a voice, but you have thoughts that answer your questions. These are the answers of your wise man. Do not forget to thank him for meeting with you and trying to help you.

There are no restrictions on meeting a wise person. You can turn to him for help at any time you see fit. After each meeting with him, also pay attention to the dream that you had. In a dream, you can get very important information that will help you make the right decision. Good luck to you! And thank you to your wise man, whom you will meet very soon. I thank him for listening carefully to all this.

Whoever you are and whatever you achieve, troubles can always happen, and it will seem to you that life will never get better. However, remember that your attitude is what matters, and here's how you can change it.

Zen Buddhist and Harvard professor Robert Waldinger, who leads the study on adult development, has been following 724 men for 75 years to understand what makes our lives happy.

It turns out that the basis of happiness is inclusion in the community and healthy relationships. To feel happy, you need to live surrounded by people who are ready to help.

Here are six ways to deal with the intense emotions that often accompany life's challenges. Sometimes they don't help directly solve the problem, but they provide clarity of vision, and that's a lot. Regardless of the outcome, your decisions will not be the result of fear - they will be justified.

1. Stop negative self-talk

First of all, you need to let go of limiting delusions, but it is equally important to stop negative self-talk by asking yourself:

What facts for and against are available to me?
Am I relying on facts or my own interpretations?
Perhaps I am drawing hasty negative conclusions?
How do I know if my thoughts are correct?
Is there another way to look at this situation?
Is the situation really as dire as it seems to me?
Does this mindset help me reach my goals?

Sometimes it is enough to admit that you are indulging in self-deprecation in order to look at the problem from the other side.

2. Keep perspective

Your current problem in the context of your whole life is a mere trifle, it does not define you as a person, it is not a reflection of your entire history, your strengths and achievements.

We often see only what is right in front of us, forgetting about all the past positive experiences. Keep a holistic image of your life in mind and ask yourself:

What can happen in the worst case? Is it likely?
And at the best?
What is most likely to happen?
What will this mean five years from now?
Perhaps I am giving too much importance to this issue?

3. Learn from your reactions

“There is a gap between stimulus and response, in that gap we have the freedom to choose our response. Our development and happiness depend on this choice,” Viktor Frankl.

How do you respond to a problem? What advice would you give to your best friend in this situation? At every moment we can completely control our reaction to any stimulus, and today psychology knows five ways to improve control over the reaction in a difficult situation:

Think about what kind of person you would like to be
Think about the meaning and origin of your reactions
See the results of your actions
Imagine a better answer
Learn to treat yourself with compassion

4. Learn from the reactions of the other side

Harvard scholars have proven that using empathy in disagreement is essential to conflict resolution and is a critical prerequisite for a successful negotiation outcome.

5. Assess the situation from the position of an outside observer

If you are an observer, then you can go beyond the situation, discard emotions and follow your reaction.

With this level of self-awareness, even when in the middle of a conflict, you are aware of yourself and can separate your identity from the situation.

6. Seek outside help

In any situation where your own experience is not enough, look for wise advice. Suppress your ego and ask for a critical eye and constructive feedback, and once you're done, help others learn from your experience.

Remember that you and your problem are not one. A problem is just one aspect of your path, and it is also a source of growth. Do not run away from challenges, because they make us better. And when it seems that everything is lost, remember: this, too, will pass.

Prepared by Taya Aryanova

In a person's life, a variety of, sometimes even unimaginable situations can occur. And what awaits us tomorrow, we can not even imagine. In everyday troubles and worries, we rarely think about our security. Usually we begin to “be baptized” and “lay straw” when the thunder is already thundering over our heads and we have to retreat not to prepared positions, but into unknown darkness. Most often, it seems that in the abyss. In the song we all know, there are such words: "... love will suddenly come, and every evening will immediately become surprisingly good." And when trouble suddenly strikes, what then? For us then the sun fades, the earth begins to leave from under our feet, and it seems to us that no one and nothing can help us.

When a person is unhappy, he becomes vulnerable and troubles “stick” like a magnet. Usually in such cases we say that trouble does not come alone. A confused person begins to be tormented by two primordially Slavic questions: “What to do?” and “Who is to blame?”. More precisely, on the contrary: “Who is to blame?” and only then - "What to do?". As always, most of us begin to analyze the situation with the fact that we are looking for someone to blame for our misfortunes, and not with constructive thoughts and steps.

My first rule that life taught me is that you don’t need to look for the guilty, you need to forgive everyone, you can blame anyone, but first of all you need to blame yourself. Forces will be needed for the search and struggle, for the necessary exit and recovery.

In your troubles, you can blame the whole world, then huddled in a corner to wait for everything to resolve itself. Usually they do this, because they do not try to deal with the problems that have arisen, but only try to “forget” them, putting them in the subconscious on the farthest shelf in the hope that a magician will fly in and a miracle will happen, and the problem will disappear by itself. But nothing good will happen in this case. Therefore, parents should create a relationship based on the child's trust in them in order to be aware of problems and always, in time, come to the rescue and indicate a way out of this situation.

You must pull yourself together. Get yourself together. Start analyzing the situation. Everyone you can, call for help. Never think that your problems are indifferent to loved ones. After all, they love you and will definitely help you with advice and concrete deeds. There must be a person nearby who will give you his shoulder. Alas, this is not always the case.

The Bible says, "Forgive, and it will be given to you" - remember? You need to ask not only relatives, friends and acquaintances. First of all, pray for help to the Lord and your highest patrons. If you do not have your own temple, try to find it. If possible, go around all the temples that are nearby and in some you will want to stay.

Maybe you will find your place, in an icon close to your soul, in the only church near your home. You will find this place, the soul will tell you, it will definitely respond to it. All you need to do is go and ask. Sincerely ask for forgiveness, help and intercession from the patrons. It is better to read prayers (and if you are an atheist, then affirmations) than to delve into sad thoughts or lose heart. In other words, try to control your thoughts. If you are not able to think about something productive - read the prayers and the consciousness will gradually begin to clear up, and the necessary decisions, ideas, assumptions and hopes will appear in your head.

You need to learn how to relax emotionally and physically. Try meditation. Relax in your favorite ways. Can focus

First, on how you breathe;

Secondly, how your body relaxes. First tighten all the muscles, and then relax. Do this gradually, starting with the feet and ending with the neck and facial muscles;

Thirdly, on some image or sound. Perhaps it will be an image of falling snow that adorns the ground or the sound of the surf. In Robin Sharma's book The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari, there is a description of this "rose admiring" technique.

If you wish and with the capabilities of the Internet, you can choose a lot of such techniques - which one suits you best, choose that one. Yoga can help a lot, no matter where you practice at home or in a specially created club. Choose the exercises you like and do them to pleasant music, and for relaxation there are special recordings with the sounds of nature: the sound of rain, the surf.

Water. Yes, ordinary water, or rather water procedures. Try taking baths that you like, for example, relaxing, soothing, pine needles, sea salt and aromatic oils, etc. Make a holiday for body and soul, go to the sauna or Russian bath. Swim in the pool, feel like a goldfish, and through the load on the muscles, your nerves and thoughts will come in order. It will relax, calm and harden well - douche and shower.

Walks. If you have someone to walk and talk with, fine. And if there is no such interlocutor - it's okay, you can take a walk alone. But choose a medium or fast pace of movement, it should depend on how you are trained, and come back with a little muscle fatigue. Choose a route for yourself so that you can walk along the river, through the park, walk along the quiet streets.

Good for our mental state plant care: planting trees, transplanting seedlings, weeding and other chores. If you do not have the opportunity to work in the beds, then look through books, magazines, catalogs on gardening and floriculture, admire the beauty of nature.

There is another great way to escape from difficult and unpleasant situations - watch your favorite movies, read books that give you pleasure.

If you have accumulated a lot of problems and your health has deteriorated, and there was no time to deal with it, start right now. You need to start with a course of preventive treatment of your disease, even if there is no exacerbation. After all, it manifests itself in a stressful situation, when the disease is chronic, and then it is not worth postponing treatment.

shopping- a great way to overcome the stress of difficult life circumstances, it is well suited for both women and men. We advise you to go shopping, find what you dreamed about (a unique set of knitting needles or a spinning rod for fishing) or spontaneously treat yourself to some incredible gift.

When you like something - buy right now and rejoice. And it doesn't matter if it's gold earrings, a diamond ring, a stylish suit, a tie, a car or… a toy. Please yourself, but if the desire does not arise, then please your loved one, child or any person from your environment.

You need to fulfill your intangible dream. If you have long dreamed of skydiving, walking barefoot in the snow, planting a garden, riding a yacht, standing on your head, giving away boring things, learning to play the piano, getting a turtle or a puppy, going to Venice or the countryside? Get started right now.

The main thing is not to focus your attention on the problem, do not give yourself entirely to it, but realize the opportunity to put your thoughts and feelings in order. Analyze everything and take a reasonable step to resolve the situation or realize the need for your existence in other circumstances.

Through prayer, nature walks, meditation, pool activities, flower gardening, and watching your favorite movies, your mind will gradually put you on the right path. All unpleasant circumstances will turn to you on the other side and then joyful and necessary events will begin for you. Your life will begin to change for the better, a great opportunity and a chance for success will appear.

Thanks to the Lord's parting words, with the help of close people and your calm and positive mood, a door will open for you that you previously did not suspect.

This door will help you get out not only from a difficult situation, but will also become the entrance to your new, exciting, beautiful and happy life.

No matter how hard we try to achieve success, no matter what we strive for, no matter what we dream about, and no matter what we do, life is unpredictable and sometimes brings unpleasant surprises. Fatigue suddenly sets in, even the usual and simple things seem impossible, and irritation becomes the most important feeling. But no matter how great the difficulties are, when a person is mentally prepared to solve the most difficult problems, he is able to find a way out of any difficult situation.

We figure out how to find a way out of a difficult situation

Before embarking on solving the difficulties that have arisen, it is necessary to clearly define several points for yourself: the cause of their occurrence, those responsible, the impact and consequences. The right exit is easiest to find only when you know exactly what you are dealing with. Just do not rush to understand how you ended up in a similar situation, otherwise you may come to the wrong conclusions and instead of solving it, you will only aggravate your situation.

To begin with, stop being nervous, blaming everyone around, presenting terrible pictures, feeling sorry for yourself and suffering. Now more than ever you need a cool head and a calm mind.

First, describe everything that happened. Remember what actions led to this. Consider whether it is possible to change or correct them. Sometimes it’s enough to admit your mistakes in order to improve the situation and avoid even more trouble.

Determine if there are those who are guilty of them. But do not rush to blame everyone around you for your troubles. Do not try on the role of the victim, it will not help. Dispassionately analyze who influenced you, your decision, or shared an idea that caused difficulties. If there is such a person, limit communication with him, refusing to continue discussing the tasks facing you. This will prevent this from happening again in the future.

Just do not “burn bridges behind you”, trying to prove to others how wrong the offender is. Your task is to improve your own life, and not to force the culprit to answer for his actions. Never waste time correcting others, there isn't much of it. After all, he could not have malicious intent, but simply did not have the necessary information and overestimated his strength in making a competent decision.

Assess the impact of this problem on your life, how negative and dangerous it is. The amount of time that you have depends on this in order to solve complex issues with the least loss for yourself and your loved ones.

Most of the difficulties arise through the fault of the person himself, namely from his attitude to what happened. Only people are able to break loose because of a trifle or not pay attention in time to what was important. Therefore, sooner or later we have to face the solution of problems that require both forces and means, although this could have been avoided.

After all, one of the most important qualities should, of course, be the ability to anticipate and prevent the occurrence of the slightest troubles in life, for which you need to learn in advance to assess the possible consequences of the decisions made. But do not be upset, even if nothing can be fixed, there are still many decisions ahead that will require a serious approach when making them if you do not want to constantly look for a way out of difficult situations.

In order to find the best solution in the circumstances, it is very important to understand whether the situation is really so hopeless, or you are exaggerating. Imagine the worst case scenario if you do nothing. Is it so scary or is there a chance to reduce its negative impact.

Now think about what is better to do: leave everything as it is, or you need to show all your willpower and ingenuity in order to change the state of affairs. Try to look at what is happening from the outside, is everything as bad for you as it seems at first glance.

For example, you have problems at work that may lead to dismissal. Only you are to blame for what happened, and in order to find a way out, you need to make too much effort. Think about why you made a mistake: you got tired or subconsciously stopped liking your position or work and you want to do something new.

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Depending on the answer, it remains for you to direct all your efforts to cope with the difficulties that have arisen, or not to waste time and start looking for a job that will allow you to realize yourself and bring joy. When a person enjoys what he does, he takes his duties much more seriously and attentively, without making mistakes.

Finding a way out of a difficult situation is not difficult if you understand what result you want to get in the end. Therefore, try to always focus on what you want, and not those around you, relatives, friends or colleagues. Otherwise, hidden discontent will still cause serious problems that cannot be avoided.

Top 7 ways to find a way out of a difficult situation

As soon as you feel that a crisis has come and you need to do something, take a day off and devote it to your favorite activities. Go for a walk, exercise, listen to good music, read a book, watch your favorite movie with a happy ending, spend time with your beloved pet, animals help you calm down and look at the world differently. Free your mind from all worries. This is not easy to do, but the first step is important here. And they may well be the words of the famous heroine Scarlett O'Hara, who should say to themselves: "I'll think about this tomorrow!". Allow yourself to rest in order to start looking for the best way out of a difficult situation the next day with fresh strength, and not exhausted by numerous doubts and worries.
For a more complete picture, describe on paper everything that happens. How it all began, at what stage now, what threatens in the future. Write down all the possible solutions and the possibilities that you have. Analyze them in detail and select the most optimal variant of the fight. Set aside the finished recipe, and read it again the next day. As time passes, it is much easier to determine the strengths and weaknesses of what is written. As soon as you feel that this is the most correct way out, proceed to implement it.

If the situation is so confused and you do not have the opportunity to correct it, then wait for the right moment, allowing events to develop without your participation. Sometimes this is the best option. Often everything resolves itself as if by itself. The main thing is to retreat in time and not do more stupid things.
You offended a loved one, and your relationship is on the verge, find the strength in yourself to ask for forgiveness if you do not want to lose him. In the same case, when you are deeply convinced that the partner is to blame for everything that happened, and are not ready to forgive him, then get ready for several scenarios: either for a break, or for reconciliation, when he realizes his guilt. There is no bad choice, there is only one that is right for you and for which you are ready to be responsible.

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Look at the problem as if several years have passed, is it as complicated as it is now. Maybe a look from the future will allow you to see a variant of its solution, which you have not thought about.
To find a way out of any situation, it is necessary to have a certain amount of information and the more it is, the easier it is to resolve the issue. Today it will not be difficult to search for the necessary data and options for the development of events on the Internet. Here you can also use ready-made solutions that are shared with each other by people who are faced with the same or similar troubles. It is always worth using the experience of others, it is much better than reinventing the wheel.
Don't hesitate to get help from loved ones. It is worthy of respect when a person tries to cope with difficulties on his own, but often their help can become a real lifeline. Sometimes it is enough to talk about the problem to immediately understand how it needs to be solved, and the advice heard in time will allow you to win with the least losses.

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Life is never an easy ride for anyone, it is filled with both happy and tragic events, regardless of education, place of work and financial condition. From time to time, in a series of ordinary cases, problems arise that require close attention. No matter how they frighten and disrupt the usual course of things, you need to learn to look for a way out of any difficult situation. When a person believes in himself and does not want to give up, he is capable of much.