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Can't hear people all the time in. Why can't people hear each other? Parents do not notice the strange behavior of the child

If you hear some sounds that others do not hear, and the doctor in the clinic spreads his arms in surprise, do not rush to contact a psychiatrist.

Perhaps you are just one of the so-called "hamers". Hum (Hum) - this is the name of a steady humming noise observed in certain places on the planet, and heard by only a few people.

For the first time they started talking about it in the 1950s, when people began to complain from different places about the uniform incessant hum. Since then, scientists have hardly moved forward in the study of this unusual phenomenon. Little is known about him. This noise is a pulsating or uniform annoying low-frequency hum, reminiscent of the sound of a diesel engine idling.

The Hamers complain of headaches, nausea, dizziness, nosebleeds, and sleep disturbances. At the same time, the sound is heard more often in rural areas, and at night the sound is amplified.

In the UK, the facts of the appearance of a mysterious noise are recorded in Leeds, Bristol, and Scotland. Moreover, the first case dates back to 1970, when 800 people immediately complained about it. It has also been reported by residents of New Mexico and Sydney.

In 2003, acoustics expert Jeff Leventhal found that only 2% of all earthlings can hear this sound. Moreover, most often this gift is possessed by people aged 55 - 70 years. According to him, at least one case is known when the incessant hum drove a person to suicide.

Those who hear the noise call it torture. "It's kind of torture, sometimes you just want to scream. It's hard to fall asleep because I hear this pulsing sound all the time. You start tossing and turning and think about it even more," says Katie Jacques from Leeds.

Scientists cannot yet determine the nature of the phenomenon and explain why it affects people. In the early 1990s Researchers from the Los Alamos National Laboratory of the University of New Mexico tried to solve the riddle. However, they eventually concluded that the source of the hum was traffic and factories.

Some researchers suggest that the noise is actually an illusion. Allegedly, the hum, which in reality does not exist, is heard by patients. Others believe it is the result of low frequency electromagnetic radiation or seismic activity that only a select few can detect.

A number of experts suggest that the recipients of the gift undergo cognitive behavioral therapy to help cope with the noise. At the same time, there are no prerequisites for the fact that the secret will be revealed in the near future. "This mystery has been around for the past 40 years, and it may well remain one of many mysteries," Loewenthal notes.

Some astronauts also hear inexplicable sounds in the orbit of the planet. In 2004, astronauts aboard the ISS repeatedly heard an unusual metallic sound. Astronaut Alexander Kaleri said the noise was like "beating a drum".

“The crew heard a sound resembling a crumpled metal tin can for one second. Perhaps this sound could be associated with some device inside the station. It has not yet been possible to determine what it is, but in any case, the check that the crew conducted shows that there are no changes either in the instrument compartments or in the atmosphere of the station, which would change instantly if there was a breakdown of the skin," Sergey Gorbunov, spokesman for the Russian Space Agency, said earlier.

Since then, the source of the noise has not been identified.

If you hear some sounds that others do not hear, and the doctor in the clinic spreads his arms in surprise, do not rush to contact a psychiatrist.

Perhaps you are just one of the so-called "hamers". Hum (Hum) - this is the name of a steady humming noise observed in certain places on the planet, and heard by only a few people.

For the first time they started talking about it in the 1950s, when people began to complain from different places about the uniform incessant hum. Since then, scientists have hardly moved forward in the study of this unusual phenomenon. Little is known about him. This noise is a pulsating or steady, annoying low-pitched hum, reminiscent of the sound of a diesel engine idling.

The Hamers complain of headaches, nausea, dizziness, nosebleeds, and sleep disturbances. At the same time, the sound is heard more often in rural areas, and at night the sound is amplified.

In 2003, acoustics expert Jeff Leventhal found that only 2% of all earthlings can hear this sound. Moreover, most often this gift is possessed by people aged 55-70 years. According to him, at least one case is known when the incessant hum drove a person to suicide.

Those who hear the noise call it torture. “It's a kind of torture, sometimes you just want to scream. It's hard to fall asleep because I hear this pulsing sound continuously. You start tossing and turning and thinking about it even more,” says Katie Jacques from Leeds.

Scientists cannot yet determine the nature of the phenomenon and explain why it affects people. In the early 1990s. Researchers from the Los Alamos National Laboratory of the University of New Mexico tried to solve the riddle. However, in the end, they came to the conclusion that the source of the hum is transport and factories.

A number of experts suggest that the recipients of the gift undergo cognitive behavioral therapy to help cope with the noise. At the same time, there are no prerequisites for the fact that the secret will be revealed in the near future. “This mystery has been around for the past 40 years, and it may well remain one of many mysteries,” Loewenthal notes.

“The crew heard a sound resembling a crushed metal tin can for one second. Perhaps this sound could be associated with some device inside the station. What it is is not yet possible to determine, but in any case, the check that the crew conducted shows that there are no changes either in the instrument compartments or in the atmosphere of the station, which would change instantly if there was a breakdown of the skin, ”the press said earlier. -Secretary of the Russian Space Agency Sergey Gorbunov.

Since then, the source of the noise has not been identified.

The topic of audio is worth talking about human hearing in a little more detail. How subjective is our perception? Can you test your hearing? Today you will learn the easiest way to find out if your hearing is fully consistent with the table values.

It is known that the average person is able to perceive acoustic waves in the range from 16 to 20,000 Hz (16,000 Hz depending on the source). This range is called the audible range.

20 Hz	A hum that can only be felt but not heard. It is reproduced mainly by top-end audio systems, so in case of silence, it is she who is to blame
30 Hz	If you can't hear it, it's most likely a playback problem again.
40 Hz	It will be audible in budget and mainstream speakers. But very quiet
50 Hz	The roar of electric current. Must be heard
60 Hz	Audible (like everything up to 100 Hz, rather tangible due to reflection from the auditory canal) even through the cheapest headphones and speakers
100 Hz	End of bass. Beginning of the range of direct hearing
200 Hz	Mid frequencies
500 Hz
1 kHz
2 kHz
5 kHz	Beginning of the high frequency range
10 kHz	If this frequency is not heard, serious hearing problems are likely. Need a doctor's consultation
12 kHz	The inability to hear this frequency may indicate the initial stage of hearing loss.
15 kHz	A sound that some people over 60 can't hear
16 kHz	Unlike the previous one, almost all people over 60 do not hear this frequency.
17 kHz	Frequency is a problem for many already in middle age
18 kHz	Problems with the audibility of this frequency are the beginning of age-related hearing changes. Now you are an adult. :)
19 kHz	Limit frequency of average hearing
20 kHz	Only children hear this frequency. Truth

»
This test is enough for a rough estimate, but if you do not hear sounds above 15 kHz, then you should consult a doctor.

Please note that the low frequency audibility problem is most likely related to.

Most often, the inscription on the box in the style of "Reproducible range: 1–25,000 Hz" is not even marketing, but an outright lie on the part of the manufacturer.

Unfortunately, companies are not required to certify not all audio systems, so it is almost impossible to prove that this is a lie. Speakers or headphones, perhaps, reproduce the boundary frequencies ... The question is how and at what volume.

Spectrum problems above 15 kHz are quite a common age phenomenon that users are likely to encounter. But 20 kHz (the very ones that audiophiles are fighting for so much) are usually heard only by children under 8-10 years old.

It is enough to listen to all the files sequentially. For a more detailed study, you can play samples, starting with the minimum volume, gradually increasing it. This will allow you to get a more correct result if the hearing is already slightly damaged (recall that for the perception of some frequencies it is necessary to exceed a certain threshold value, which, as it were, opens and helps the hearing aid to hear it).

Do you hear the entire frequency range that is capable of?

Probably each of us at least once in life faced with a situation when people don't want to hear each other or notice the obvious. Any arguments in this case are powerless!

Why is this happening?

Every person has a deep need for self-respect. And for this, he needs congruence with his inner beliefs and values (which we do not always broadcast to the outside world).

If this happens repeatedly, an internal "conflict of values" occurs: a person loses self-respect, contradictions begin to torment him. And in order to preserve the integrity that is important for a person, a psychological defense mechanism comes into play.

The well-known psychiatrist Vadim Rotenberg writes very interestingly about this.

To protect his personality from internal conflict, a person uses various methods of blocking information (more than 20 are described in the scientific literature).

Such a defense mechanism is activated if the dispute affects moral aspects that are important for a person. Sometimes it can be a message that affects one's own self-esteem. Information can be blocked with a strong feeling of anxiety, fear. If a person has a strong belief that a disease is a weakness or an unaffordable luxury, he will ignore even the obvious symptoms of the disease.

There are many such manifestations:

Parents do not notice the strange behavior of the child.

Relatives cannot get out of the protracted conflict.

The wife does not know about her husband's mistress (it is no coincidence that this has already become a classic of the genre: the injured party is the last to know about the betrayal).

Friend takes no arguments.

The head does not recognize fair remarks addressed to him.

The smoker ignores serious health problems.

………..

In these and many other cases people can't hear each other or overlook the obvious.

For one reason or another, they unconsciously turn on their protective filters, blocking some of the data.

Sometimes a person can see various dreams that indirectly reflect the information that he is trying to "wipe".

Such a "dream-metaphor" still needs to be deciphered. And again, doing this in a conscious state, one does not notice what others see.

I offer you two interesting examples cited by Vadim Rotenberg.

His American colleague, a venerable psychologist, told the general public about his dream:

He played poker with his friends. He had large trump cards in his hands. But as soon as he threw them on the table, they turned into a trifle. And his opponents could easily beat his cards.

An American psychologist interpreted this dream as his strong passion for poker.

Vadim Rotenberg expressed a different assumption: "If the scientist had heard this dream from another person, he would have easily deciphered the" transparent "hint."

The dream reflected the reality: most likely, the person had deep inner doubts as his inner "trump cards". This could be easily understood even without knowing the scientist personally. Vadim Rotenberg was familiar with him and repeatedly noticed his painful vulnerability and insecurity, which he tried to carefully hide. And although these qualities did not negate his talent and merits, he could not admit it to himself.

And another similar example. Rotenberg's colleague, Doctor of Psychology, had a dream.

While walking with her employees, she suddenly fell into a deep sand pit. And although helping hands were extended to her, she could not get out of such a deep hole. With great anxiety, the woman asked, "What could this dream mean?"

The scientist was well aware that her qualifications would completely allow her to decipher it herself, but again the "protection mechanism" worked. Therefore, Rotenberg did not speak directly about the meaning of sleep: after all, this could offend a colleague. Although the relationship of the words "career" and "career" immediately suggested certain thoughts. Such a "play on words" in dreams is quite common and should not be ignored.

Rationalization is also one of the methods of protection. In this case, the real meaning of the message is replaced by another, less traumatic one.

If an envious person is tormented by the success of a more successful rival, then he may begin to carry out the idea: that it is not he who is envious, but him. It happens that a person projects his own negative qualities onto his opponent. And he begins to actively fight with his own shortcomings, seeing them in another. In these cases, the principle works: "The best defense is an attack."

In fact, "Deletion", "Generalization" or "Distortion" of information is inherent in absolutely all people to one degree or another.

I already wrote in my article that each of us has an individual style of processing it." And if you do not go to extremes, then this is absolutely normal.

At the same time, do not once again blame people for misunderstanding. After all, at the same time, we do not solve the problem, but sometimes only exacerbate it. It is better to try to understand the root cause of this "deafness" or "blindness" and take a different approach.

" " tell us the same thing:

"Each person has their own map of the world."

" The system is controlled by the one who shows the greatest flexibility.

" The meaning of communication lies in the reaction it elicits.

ALL THE BEST.

WITH THANKS! ARINA

Often, spouses who turn to a psychologist for advice complain that they do not hear each other.

They talk, listen, try to understand, but all in vain. Why? In psychology, there are many theories that contain different opinions about what are the reasons for partners' inattention to each other.

Psychologists answer the question something like this: “A man and a woman are two separate worlds. With different generic scenarios and family attitudes formed in childhood. Everyone has their own personal characteristics, their own character and traumatic childhood experience. Getting rid of traumas, false attitudes and realizing generic scenarios, you can begin to hear your partner and understand him, thereby improving relationships.

What does the System-Vector Psychology of Yuri Burlan say about this? Will awareness of scenario behavior really bring partners closer to understanding and help to hear each other? Or maybe the reasons are completely different?

Everyone wants to be happy

People get the greatest happiness in a heterosexual couple. This is how nature intended. A man and a woman, despite external and internal differences, having united, are able to feel incredible pleasure from communicating with each other.

Every person by nature is an egoist who is aware only of himself. He wants happiness for himself and does not want to think about anything else. For the first time, he begins to feel the other person through hostility. When he does not give him happiness, does not want to please, contradicts. Then a person suddenly realizes that there is another that prevents him from being happy. This is where the desire to fight him arises. Words, deeds, manipulations, intrigues and scandals, bribery and blackmail are used. Everything that comes to mind, everything goes into action. He wants to achieve what he wants for himself and cannot understand why the partner does not make him happy.

While everyone thinks only about himself, wishes happiness for himself, it will not work to hear each other. But, if, nevertheless, the spouses came for a consultation with a psychologist, it means that they want to hear each other and are ready to work on themselves.

In a couple, you can only be happy together. If this is understood, then each of the partners will try to fulfill the desires of the other. In this case, the relationship has a chance to develop. If partners want to invest in relationships equally, dream to hear and understand each other, bestow joy on the other, then they have every chance of being a truly happy couple.

How to hear each other

There is no other method, except for the System-Vector Psychology of Yuri Burlan, which could describe the inner world of each person in such an understandable way. And to give an opportunity to understand the reasons for the actions of another. Without understanding the characteristics of a partner, maintaining a relationship is very difficult. You can also live life in conflicts and problems, but the quality of this life will be completely different than if you build it on mutual understanding and trust.

Every person is first of all a desire. He wants to enjoy life. And if a woman knows what her man needs, truly understands what he wants, she seems to penetrate into his inner world and create in it everything that leads a man to satisfaction. The partner can do the same. He himself will suffer if a loved one does not get what he dreams of.

Without the ability to properly talk to each other and hear what was said, three years after they met, relationships based on the smell of pheromones may stop or enter a routine. They will stop worrying, playing with colors, exciting.

It is not difficult to hear each other - the main thing is to want to meet each other halfway, give in at the right moment and understand the reason why a person acts in a certain way. You can also hear your loved one with your heart, which sometimes speaks better than the most beautiful speech. The main thing is to know what to say, how to say it and when.

Feel - to hear and understand

Visual people do not allow themselves to cry, for years they hide their experiences inside behind a high fence of insensibility, ostentatious indifference. And only when they begin to cry, talk about feelings, talk about their experiences, their world becomes different, and relations with a partner change for the better.

Each person has his own special properties and his own task. Not understanding either their own or other people's desires, partners demand the impossible from each other. The skinner is forced to take care of children and the house, the owner of the anal vector is driven into business. A man can demand that his skin-visual wife perform household chores, cook and reproach her for the lack of a maternal instinct, which she simply does not have. And she hurries her husband with an anal vector, knocking him out of a measured rhythm. That's how they live. Every day destroying each other in word and deed.

Words can heal

We don't even think about the impact the word has on a person. We speak, but they don't hear us. We are told and we do not hear. We can't make out the meaning of the words. Or, on the contrary, we hear the meaning of what was said, behind the words, and if this meaning carries an insult, sarcasm, an unflattering attitude towards us or other people, we do not want to hear it. We fence ourselves off from the partner, we try to avoid communication.

Today the word is devalued even among the masses. What happens in society is reflected in the family. Freedom of speech has led to the fact that everything can be said - without thinking about what kind of charge carries what is said.

Today, everyone who is not lazy speaks and writes nasty things, so the word loses its original value.

In order not to cause themselves unnecessary discomfort and suffering, people stopped hearing each other. A person does not want to listen even to the good, and the bad even more so.

If the owner of the anal vector listens to everything that his skin wife sometimes tells him, he may get a heart attack. He takes everything to heart - such a person. Doesn't listen because he's protecting himself.

It is very important for people to know what can and cannot be said. And how to speak - it is also necessary to understand.

This is especially true for people who have a sound vector. They have very sensitive ears. An insulting word said even in a whisper can hurt so much that it will turn your partner away forever. For example, such words include mat.

A person with a sound vector is one for whom bodily joys are secondary. In the first place in a relationship is spiritual intimacy, the feeling that partners are one. Silence and the deep meaning of everything that happens to him is important to such a person. A swear word - it's about sexual.

If a person, especially a woman, hears a swear word or abusive speech, he takes it personally. Swearing hurts, devalues the most sacred relationships. And on the owners of the sound vector, the mate acts even more destructively.

Without knowing the characteristics of each other, partners can hurt with a word so that it will be very difficult to restore relations. What goes unnoticed by one may be painful for another. One rude word can erase all the good that is in a relationship. And vice versa, pleasant, positive, supportive words inspire, make a partner stronger, help overcome adversity.

No one likes to hear insults addressed to them. Everyone wants to be loved and enjoy living together. Violating the laws of partnerships, people get a consequence that they do not like. And only an awareness of the reasons why a person thinks, speaks or acts in a certain way can radically change the situation and direct relations in a peaceful direction.

What do you want to hear?

We know that all people are different, but we do not understand what this really means. Everyone has their own innate desires and properties, called vectors. System-vector psychology explains that if you sincerely say to a man with an anal vector: “I respect you, you are great,” you can easily straighten out the conflict. To say that he is the best is a balm for his soul. After all, he is, indeed, by nature the best husband, father and even stepfather.

If these same words are attributed to a partner with a urethral vector, then you can lose his disposition. For him, such praise is humiliating. Such a man cannot be compared with others and doubt him. He is the leader and must always be first.

For the owner of the skin vector, a career and a high financial position are important. Talking to him about family holidays and weekdays, you can see the boredom in his eyes. To be able to interest such a man, you need to know his innermost desires.

The owner of the visual vector can easily win her attention. It is worth saying: “You are so beautiful”, and even giving flowers, and all her attention will be directed towards the partner. Positive emotions are a feeling of immense happiness for such a woman. And the more such emotions she experiences, the more beautiful and happier her life is.

Everyone wants to hear from a partner what is pleasant for him - words that correspond to his individual idea of the world, his values. Knowing the character traits and understanding the desires of the spouse, sometimes you don’t need long conversations, which for some even seem meaningless.

You can know one or two words that you need to say to your loved one at the moment, and a hopeless situation becomes fixable.

What to say is allowed

The emotional background in a relationship depends on the woman. Therefore, most often it is women who turn to a psychologist for help. Their interest in preserving the marriage is due to nature. A woman receives a sense of security and safety from her husband and passes this feeling on to her children. The states of each family member are interdependent. If a woman is in a good emotional state, then other family members are doing well.

A man and a woman are indeed two different worlds with their bulges and hollows, which ideally should coincide, thereby creating a new world consisting of two halves of the soul. A whole picture called "a happy family." And such a fusion can be achieved in each pair thanks to systemic knowledge.

System-vector psychology notes that a woman can always be desirable for a man, provided that there is a sensual, emotional connection between partners. Which, even if you do not work out psychological trauma, will still serve for the benefit of family happiness for many years.

Intimacy enables a man to feel the desire and strength to give his woman everything she wants. This will help you get through difficulties together, if any. And live life in all its fullness and pleasure.

“I thought about a vacation - and my wife decided where we would go”

“... Before, I was just infuriated that my wife did not devote enough time to her family, but spent it on her career and social life. "Where did you run, you little brat? Better take care of the kids,” I told her before. And now... Together we were able to agree and settle this problem. Recently, I was able to finally understand why my wife is so important career and social life. Having understood the deep reason for her desires, I managed to accept them. Her behavior stopped annoying me. I managed to change the attitude towards my wife. The most amazing thing is that she also changed her attitude towards me. Previously, everyone spoke from his own point of view, and we could not agree. Recently, we have been able to understand and accept the other's point of view."

Try it too! Register for the free online training "Systemic Vector Psychology" by Yuri Burlan at the link.

The article was written using the materials of Yuri Burlan's online training "System-Vector Psychology"
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